You don’t think that I wanted this. It’s not something that I choose. I might not even wish it on you. The Narcissistic Blue’s.

I feel nothing if not empty. I’ll break it down for you like news. There’s just me and never you. Got the Narcissistic Blue’s.

You were cautioned with a warning. Walk away before you lose. There’s no right time, night or morning. The Narcissistic Blue’s.

I am sitting with the bankers. We are calculating dues. We have the names and you’re all wankers with the Narcissistic Blue’s.

Rising from the ashes.

We all came here from that storm.

A Rising Tide that lifts all boats.

Doesn’t know the cold from warm.

We don’t know how we got here.

Those mysteries are well hid.

We are stardust, ancient carbon.

Only God knows what we did.

No need to get all serious.

Bring the ice age, then the thaw.

None will know who came or went.

Who was good or broke the law.

But all the ones that came before us.

The ones that couldn’t read or write.

They are still around here somewhere.

They’re just buried outta sight.

You couldn’t see The War inside. But it raged here, on and on.

You didn’t want to stick around. Loved your smile and the con.

You could bring us more than that? More than what you’re known for.

But you like tears and words like change. Such performance with no crowd roar.

You told your friends of victory and they spoke it all to me.

You were dancing to the drummer and you thought those songs were free.

There’s forgiveness and there’s virtues. Then there’s something more like this.

And there’s something you can find it here. But you blinked twice just to miss.

There’s a mystery and there is a riddle. There was honor in all those clues. 

Chosing war you couldn’t win. Didn’t prepare you for when you lose.

I remember when you were smiling. Arrogance painted on that grin.

It just feels so damn Biblical to see angels dancing on a pin.

I was chatting with online posers.

Not enough to cause me shame.

I didn’t leave the house for days

I didn’t use a different name.

The days turned into one full week.

She started speaking love.

I thought myself you just don’t know.

And then the push became the shove.

I called her on the video.

She declined and there’s the whirl.

Thought some fat dude behind laptop.

Not some hot young Asian girl.

There’s some method to the madness.

I don’t think the methods sane.

But I guess there could be worse things.

About how they hide that pain.

Marcus wrote, ‘When you arise in the morning think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive-to breathe, to think, to enjoy and to love. ‘

Now there’s a meditation.

It might be important to note that Mr Aurelius was the last of what was considered to be in Rome…

‘The 5 Good Emporers. ‘ A period of about 200 years that ended in 180 A.D.

Marcus was also a Stoic Philosopher.

You know she tried to fool me, tried to dance me to a lull.

The boredom overtook me and her knife was just as dull.

There was a strangeness I was feeling. Somehow thought that she might cry.

I feel just like that spider… in that story, where there’s that fly.

I looked upon the opioids: for just a second I felt the nod.

There is a voice of wisdom, sometimes here, I just smile and thank my God.

I left her with a warning said, “Best I go and there I’ll stay.

She nodded in the morning, when night ends to start the day.

My skin was dry and peeling, flaked, worn and beat down.

But I stumbled on a savior, the moisture gal came to town.

Was selling creams and steam machines for a world that has gone dry.

I paid her cash and smiled at her, and she winked with one good eye.

Now I’m feeling fresh and perky, hydrated and a glow.

I told her to come back again, next year, win, place or show.

Alice is in Chicago.

She is in the crypto game.

I am in Toronto.

Trying not to wear that shame.

I was thinking deep thoughts.

And taking coffee with my creams.

A man with some face tattoos.

Is not as crazy as he seems.

Julie’s coming here for Christmas.

I just hope to stand that tall.

There’s so much to do here now.

I need some, but don’t need all.

Another day of plenty.

Someone spoke attraction laws.

And I was dreaming sweet dreams.

And not complaining, just because.

The kid she turns eleven.

This week is grinning ear to ear.

She says that she’s happy now.

Says that she likes it here.

I swear I heard a buzzing.

Must be coming from that phone.

Think someone there knows my name.

Let’s me know I’m not alone.

I hear that humming and the sound.

That’s coming from the air and ground.

I take it in…

And let it pound…

Away .

There’s a place that’s near I hold.

It’s precious and it’s mined like gold.

I take it in.

To make the mold…

Like clay.

Some suffer for the art.

Swallowed whole or tore apart.

They took it in.

And from the start…

They say…

“Suffered much and paid the price.”

They exaggerate; they rolled the dice.

They took it all.

And risked it twice…

They say…

“I hear that humming and the sound.

That’s coming from the air and ground.

I take it in.

And let it pound away.”