The Teachers Strike averted.

Brother Bill will run for Pres.

We were told but not alerted.

What it means, and no one says.

You can say that you don’t know.

But deep thinkers do suspect.

Brother Bill is not here to place or show.

He is just the ringer to elect.

She spoke carefully, “Well something must have happened to cause her to react like that?!” Her voice rose an involuntary octave at the end her question.

“Something did happen for sure. I said NO to her… She almost lost her mind. I have never seen anyone react worse to NO in my life. She screamed,’Who do you think you are to say no to me?!'”

“I answered, I’m the person who pays for everything around here and I am the father of our child. That does give me some say in things… She never recovered. Never was nice to me again and from what I’ve observed, I don’t think she’s ever been nice to anyone since.”

“What did you say no to?”

“She wanted to go to Africa to see her sister and take our daughter. I paid for the trip… then she announced to me that after the visit with her sister was over, she was going to take the train from Nairobi to Tanzania. I asked where she was going to stay. She said, ‘We will just go camping.’ ‘With a baby? I asked. She nodded and smiled yes. I said ‘ Are you trying to get her abducted? She screamed, ‘It’s not true! It’s not true! Regardless she said she was going and a few days later I called travel advisory for Nairobi and there was an extreme high terrorist alert. This was in 2013. This ended the trip. She was furious and never forgave me for ruining her plans. So that is her reason for saying that I was abusive. Her whole deal after this was getting rid of me. Getting sole custody and moving back to France… and she didn’t care how she went about it…. In the end she falsified documents and perjured herself in court. Not to mention child abuse. Does this answer your question about what happened to get her to behave like this?”

There was silence on the other end in a phone. I could tell she was crying. That’s how I knew I was heard.

November’s grey cuts through the cold…

Nothing is the feeling, yet not quite nothing… There is something here.

The cat ventured out today at 6a.m. when I returned and she came back when I got up at noon. Her belly fur was cold and wet and she was hungry, yet happy. She ate and purred, acknowledged my presence and then slept in her favorite chair.

So there’s that…

I’ve been working nights for 2 weeks now. Which means I’m sleeping days…

I’m not reading or writing or painting or doing anything really. I’m just existing.

I’m doing it for the money to keep the wolves at a safe distance. It’s a choice.

I’m not complaining, I’m just observing. There is nothing really wrong.

There is no panic. Just a soul sucking sickness that will soon run its course.

Acrylic on Canvas 60″×48″

I recognized my nature.

Not much was steeped in good.

There was this strange sensation.

Like maybe I just should.

Forget it all and start a new.

Take the narrow view to wide.

Take my head out from my ass.

And maybe look outside.

Not all is gain or glory.

Not all is pain and strife.

The road the path the choices made.

It’s a wild ride this life.

Several people that I respect have said that Fyodor Dostoevski is the greatest author in all time.

I don’t know… However I have recently come across a passage from one of his novels The Brothers Karamazov which is:

‘What is Hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.’

This bounced around in my head for the better part of a day before the realized how profound this really is.

I have met at least 2 of these people and indeed they do suffer. I have also observed that they have a certain proclivity for wanting to share their hell with others.

There was fortune in the failures.

Except few would stick around.

To sit and take their talking to.

From the elders ground and pound.

There was wisdom in the put downs.

But the weak had gotten soft.

No more bitter medicines.

No gloved fingers while they coughed.

No one knew the outcome.

Where this could ever go.

Screamed the wise one from the mountain.

“It’s best that you don’t know!”

You don’t think that I wanted this. It’s not something that I choose. I might not even wish it on you. The Narcissistic Blue’s.

I feel nothing if not empty. I’ll break it down for you like news. There’s just me and never you. Got the Narcissistic Blue’s.

You were cautioned with a warning. Walk away before you lose. There’s no right time, night or morning. The Narcissistic Blue’s.

I am sitting with the bankers. We are calculating dues. We have the names and you’re all wankers with the Narcissistic Blue’s.