The cold in the city brought snow. Neither will stay long I know. Something like you. Summer days flew. In the end ya gotsta go.
Does it seem empty when you chatter? Is there a darkness all around?
You ever hear someone speaking? You still screaming at that sound?
Is there a lover in your future? Is there someone can make you smile?
Does the silence overtake you? Leaves you vacant in your style.
I tried and failed to help you. I’ve left you to your fate.
You lie there in some hopeless void, it’s forever in the wait.
It’s raining in November and December is close behind.
You make love now to your demons. I hope they treat you kind.
I have waited months and now this day has arrived bringing uneasy sway and I will stand in front of a Judge and await that judgment.
I asked my daughter who’s 9 how she felt about the possibility of living with me full time or split time with her mother and I and she said that both were the same to her. She said, “I’ve got nothing really to lose.”
I will let that be and turn it over to powers greater than I… I won’t tell her the cold hard truth that there’s more to lose than she thinks; yet.
The Movers and Shakers were asked by the Givers for advice on the Takers… about trying to get back on track.
The Givers have given and the madness has driven and resentments are all that’s coming on back.
The Movers and Shakers say ‘NO’has no takers and is the word that the Givers can employ.
This had them all dreading and at first was tough sledding, but now say that ‘NO’ gives them such joy.
The sickness is in the overthinking. Ripping apart each morsel of thought and nuance until there’s nothing left but pain and death… This is the gift and madness of the afflicted.
The world is hanging by a thread and There is no one I’d rather be than me… Tis a very strong thread!
My first novel will be published in early spring by Colborne Publishers.
Weary in the shadows, that glow before the sun.
I’ve rested in a restless dream that has no need for fun.
We made it to the sunrise, awake and full of blood.
That flows and fuels this vessel that’s hope and flesh and mud.
I’ve prayed and laid it out, to this spirit I call God.
I told him of my woes and fears, just waiting for a nod.
The sun will rise I’m certain, see the orange glow in the east.
Another day upon us, Another chance to feast.
The winds are slightly stirring, a slight rain in the air.
I know I should be happy and smiles without a care.
There’s a feeling that’s uneasy that comes with lack of sleep.
Best now not to say a word, the silence I can keep.
I sometimes I sit and wonder what more I could have done.
It feels like its over, I guess I thought we’d just begun.
I’m feeling kinda silly but I know that’s nothing new.
I’m holding up this mirror and I’m staring back at you.
I’m swimming in the ocean and it feels like I’m cursed.
Surrounded by this liquid and I’m dying now of thirst.
I guess it’s love that fails cause you know it can’t be me.
It’s just never easy darling, It’s just sometimes not to be.
I don’t believe in such nonsense… It was just coincidence that they said my father was dead when he wasn’t and that my mother caught her first husband trying to kill my older sister or that the mother of my daughter…
However I have these unconcious fears. If I give this voice or pen will it be the prick to that balloon? It is my daughter I fear for.
I pray daily because I would rather be wrong about that than be wrong about the consequences of not praying .
I have this theory that courage to face fears is the difference in those realms of unknown circumstances that sometimes requires faith or as David said to me, “When that hairy hand of fate reaches out from the darkness to squeeze the life out of you; you stab it. That’s what I love.”
Oh to be that sure.