Why do I live alone? It’s the peace of mind of not having someone tell me what to do ALL the time. I have been effectively on my own, paying my own way for 40 plus years and I feel like I am fairly self sufficient.

It’s been 3 years now of living by myself, except on the weekends when my daughter is there…  1 year before that I lived with David and that was good because he is reasonable and not 1 disagreement in that year. 

My daughter and I cohabitate very well and I could live with her. Those weekends with her are the best of times…

I can’t forsee a situation where I would ever live with anyone who I would be in a relationship with because I have never experienced success there. 

I don’t understand why anyone would feel the need to boss another person around in a way that can’t be described as anything other than rude just because they have a relationship of intimacy.

Is that the cost of intimacy?

Dennis Mantin 

I had arrived at the Pacific coast, finally in 1985. I got swarmed by 6 drunks in Gastown by The Town Pump. Later, I worked at The Town Pump: a live music venue, where I heard 2 songs for the first time.

‘I Was flFucking Wendy The Night That Elvis Died’
AND
‘Your Old Lady Is My Old Lady Too. ‘

I would watch Janet Brown dance all night on that dance floor at The Town Pump, and when that was over, I worked the midnight shift cooking at Hamburger Mary’s. An establishment that mainly catered to children of the night, trannies, and what would become known as the LGBTQ community.
I would sleep at the cockroach infested drug/welfare Balmoral hotel where I slept during the day in preparation for my afternoon shift at the town pump. 16 hours a day, I worked for 3 months to get out of the West Coast madness. I put food and water on one side of the room away from the bed and pronounced in a drunken monologue while drawing an imaginary line, ” Cross this line, and I will kill you… Don’t and we can make this work.”
In the 3 months, I didn’t kill a cockroach.
I watched a man feed a pigeon on Christmas Eve, and when he got close enough to catch it, he broke its neck and walked away with it.
I saw a hooker walking down mainstreet in a bikini on New Year’s Eve. I saw addiction and madness at a level I never imagined.I heard Vancouver’s east end described as hell on earth… however, in hindsight, that might be a little unfair.


Dennis Mantin

I left them behind in the frightening cold. With their plans and their dreams and their schemes growing old. 

I left for the coast, on a train… In the night. In the drunk and the fog and the delusional fight.

I think of the times and the growth and the snow. And the fears that I held and that long letting go.

There’s a distance between the here and the now. That’s true and its clear and safer somehow.

I walked in your midst and I admit to my awe. You allowed me to be me and I came and I saw.

Dennis Mantin 

We drank together and told each other story; mainly I listened. One night he started to cry which I had never seen before… unless it was coming from me…

He told me he was AWOL from the army and he feared getting caught and going to military prison.  He said,  ” I had this vein that was outside of my leg, its a condition, it looks painful but it isn’t. They missed it on my medical, so in basic training we do a 10 mile run and everyone has to do the run in a  certain time or if one person fails… everyone has to redo the run. So on the first mile, I faked a leg injury and the rest of the company had to carry me on a gurney. As one group passed me to the next  I’d tell jokes and ask everyone how they were doing.  We didn’t finish on time and everyone wanted to kill me because they knew I was faking it. I went to see the Doctor who signed the surgery papers to  correct the vein problem. The General hated me but had to sign the paperwork. I limped into his office with a cane. On the way back to a waiting car, his office overlooked the 300 foot path to the car and I knew he’d be watching… so I started clicking my heels together and tapping the cane to my head ala Charlie Chaplin. I went to have the operation then went AWOL… Dexter’s not my real name. ”

“This answers alot of questions, why do you do these things to yourself?”

“I don’t know,  maybe for shits and giggles.”

Dennis Mantin 

I met him at the Silver City Saloon in Banff Alberta. He was carrying a tray of Pilsner beer.  I asked for 2. He said he didn’t have any and disappeared into the crowd on the disco side. 

He would dance by himself for hours, which went along with his penchant for appearing  to  have his head firmly up his arse.I had never witnessed such confidence. Then the best looking young woman any of us ever saw started dancing with him… They would dance for hours and we his audience cheered him on.

I actually met him when he came to work at the Cascade Inn as a waiter. I was cooking in Bobo’s Bistro at the back of the tavern.

At the beginning of the summer when I asked for the 2 Pilsner, Dexter had a full head of curly hair, but he was bald before winter. I have never seen anyone lose their hair quicker. 

During the winter I got to know him and he would tell me stories about all the money he made and how he and the friends he had when he had hair used to go through cocaine and  Grand Marnier in unprecedented amounts.

I suggested to him that it was perhaps the diet of cocaine and liqueurs that perhaps contributed to his hair loss.

I don’t know if I was right but the look on Dexter’s face suggested that this was a new idea to him…

I had many laughs with you my friend. 

He sometimes went by another name.

He was running from something like a lot of us…

R.I.P.

When Al’s son Mark was 1and 1/2, his mother caught her husband Al having sex with the babysitter. She hit Al over the head with a cast iron frying pan and packed up her children and a bag and left. Al told me, “It was just like the cartoons… I saw stars and everything.”

That night she returned to the home, to pack some things, knowing full well that Al would be passed out drunk on the Chesterfield. She found a can of easy off oven cleaner and with the brush applicator… applied the chemical cleaner to Al’s cock and balls. 

Al slept like that passed out for hours. 

When he woke and saw the can of easy off oven cleaner beside him and the state of his privates,  he showered and dressed and went to the police station. There he dropped his pants upon arrival and cried to whoever was present, “Look…look what she did to me!” 

Al told me with some reverence, “She was the only woman I could never control. ”

He sold his business and moved to Malta. 20 years later he returned, almost broke and looked up his son Mark who now owned a triplex and other properties. 

This is when I happened on the scene.

Dennis Mantin 

I was about to rent a room from his son Mark, but the room wasn’t ready until Monday: it was Friday. This was 30 years ago,  I was new in town. 

Al’s son Mark suggested I stay with Al until the room was available. Al and I hit it off and Al suggested I rent his spare room from him… I agreed. 
When we informed Mark of the new arrangement, Mark flew into a rage at his father for stealing a client. 

Picture this. A triplex. Mark lives on the top floor, Al lives on the 2nd floor and there’s an empty apartment below Al’s.

On Saturday  and Sunday  night Al got drunk and dressed in only his underwear would stand in his kitchen and knowing where his son would sit, would scream and yell at his son through the floorboards. I quote: ” I brought you into this world and I will take you out… Iwill rip your throat out with my bare teeth.” Other stuff less quotable was also offered  

Now I like live theater as much as the next, however I went to see Mark on Monday morning and told him I had enough.  Mark suggested I rent his empty apartment on the first floor. I agreed on the condition that Al not be told.  He agreed. 

For 2 weeks, I listened to Al scream obscenities at his son until one night I had enough and climbed the stairs,  kicked open his door. Al was standing in his underwear, clutching a quart bottle of rum, yelling at where he imagined his son might hear him. I said, “Al if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll rip your throat out with my bare teeth.”

Al staggered towards me with tears in his eyes and said, “Dennis! Where have you been?”

Dennis Mantin 

John is in the hospital and he’s been there for the better part of a week…  This is probably not a good sign but I have been fooled before. 

John started a Single Father’s Club and invited me, although I never attended a single gathering. Hopefully John will recover and I will get my chance…

I overheard another of the charter members of the Single Father’s Club say recently that if it flys, floats or fucks,  you rent. 

Always something to look forward to. 

Dennis Mantin 

She scrunched up her face and hissed like she was saying something original… “That’s the straw that broke the Camel’s back. ”

I laughed back, “This?”

“Yes, this.”

“Well you must be talking about one weak fucking camel… you sure you’re not looking for an excuse to say goodbye?”

She walked away with her thoughts. 

“I shaved my balls for you. ”

Dennis Mantin 

Dennis Mantin 

He said, ” Why don’t you use the word influence instead of interference.”      This man is a teacher. I love a day that brings Learning!

I left the meetings almost 2 years ago after I heard a young man share that he attended a meeting where he didn’t find the gathered particularly attractive and he looked around and thought, ‘I can’t believe I shaved my balls for this. ‘

Some people would say that I was looking for an excuse to leave… Maybe?  Looks like I found one. 

Dennis Mantin