My therapist told me that I don’t exist. Not in her eyes.

I am a safety valve! My purpose finally revealed. ..

When I was a child, I wondered what it would be like to be invisible and now I know.

He said, ” And if you’re a good man, you wouldn’t be much of a safety valve. It’s important that she demonize you. ”

Dennis Mantin

She returned from a 6 weeks vacation.

I filled the fridge with her favorite food.

I hired a cleaner who cleaned from stem to stern.

I picked her up at the airport with flowers in hand and carried her luggage to the car and drove her home…

I carried her luggage to the bedroom and in a corner of our immaculately clean home was a ‘Dust Ball.’

This became her focus. Nothing else mattered… only that dust. The cleaner was unprofessional and I was stupid for paying her.

I am certain everyone has moments in their lives that create reevaluation and a taking of stock. This was one of mine. In that moment as she droned on I knew there was no fixing THIS. Whatever this was, this had nothing to do with me and I was good with that.

I have taken my vacation from relationships since that moment and life is good.

Dennis Mantin

She exaggerates like that drunken bum in the park who if you listen carefully is bragging of better days… in his youth when men were men and sheep were nervous and it wasn’t as grand as he claims; just bearable.

She exaggerates to keep her voice from going silent while searching for ears who haven’t turned deaf to to her moans of complaint and bitter disappointments and possibly drowning out the noise of the voices in her head.

It’s a lot to contend with and having escaped from this selfish prison I can tell her that you can’t begin to learn to listen until you stop talking.

Dennis Mantin

My account has been renewed!

A new beginning?

Probably the same old same old?

Fresh freedom unleashed!

I can only dream…

Zylia 7 spoke to me from France today and gave me her analysis of a recurring childhood nightmare I used to have. The dream was a person swinging on a swing and after a while they would disappear and I would wake up crying. Zylia says that this could have been a warning to me that my mother Margaret was going to die.

She also added that maybe this was destiny if such a thing existed.

She went on to say that she didn’t think everything was destiny but some things could be…

This child is taking things to new levels for me.

Dennis Mantin

Not on the laws.

It’s just because.

Sometimes you get to deep.

You’re clutching at straws.

And you just need to pause.

Maybe look, before you leap.

Just a note to self.

Spread the wealth.

You’re probably on the nod.

Happens sometimes

When searching for rhymes

And you need to acknowledge God!

Dennis Mantin

I rescued Gigi over a year ago.

She understands opportunity and luck.

When I was younger I missed much opportunity due to fears of… whatever!

Life is opportunity and luck and if you are healthy and breathing than you are truly one of the lucky ones.

Dennis Mantin

It starts with exhaustion!

And follows a day spent with old friends at the ballpark.

I might be getting this.

Dennis Mantin

She’ll be leaving soon and I won’t tell her how it is.

It will be a nice visit filled with moments and memory.

Pleasant politeness and attention to details… the little things.

It’s nice having beauty in the house with zero expectations.

It does the heart good just to be nice and present for another I think.

Dennis Mantin

I confess…

I misunderstood the meaning of the word muse.

I thought it was more intimate than inspirational however those lines probably sometimes blur.

I have a second muse now and I am grateful for their beauty and joy with both being purely inspirational and what could be more intimate than this?

I am blessed!Dennis Mantin

She said her Chinese sign was the dog.

“Determined, trustworthy loyal to a fault.”

I have learned to let things slide in the moment. Some would refer to it as avoiding confrontations or being dishonest…

I think much like her I have an entertaining inner life! I just keep my nonsense more private.Dennis Mantin