‘This is the bottom… nothing could ever match this.’

Zach MacIver was only 11 years old, so really who could blame him for being so naive?

He was traveling in a hearse with his mother’s body in the trunk space behind him… 3 cardboard boxes of comic books layed beside her coffin and her only suitcase leaned against the comics that held everything else he owned.

The undertaker Carl, was dressed in black from head toe, and was driving them from his former home to where Margaret would be buried. Crying seemed no longer an option. Carl stared at the road emotionless. This was old hat for him. Death was just another day.

“The trip will be 3 hours.” Were the only words Carl spoke.

Zach wondered where he’d be living after Margaret was buried.

Decades later he was sitting in a crack house with 5 others in a moment of unbelievable silence. No one was jonesing or yapping or sharing nonsense. They were all it seemed strangely and silently satisfied. Zach sat in awe of this rarity of this moment and instinctively knew something spectacular was about to happen. He looked around at each of the faces and realized that he knew all their stories. There was rape and murder and incest and abandonment and tortured and Zach…

The realization came to him all at once. They all had one thing in common. Each of them had lost their immediate family. They all were alone even when they were together.

Zach got up and left silently. He knew he’d never be back and no one else was getting out alive. He now knew what bottom was.

Someone, not me said “No one is hated more than he who tells the truth.”

I have always called people on their bullshit, which means: I Am Difficult.

I think this part of my life is over because I don’t really care anymore who believes what.

I am now entering a new phase of silence and solitude. These are early days and I suspect there will be growing pains.

It’s the strangest thing watching the delusions of others… No matter what you say or show as evidence they say “no” or “nope!”

They would rather die it would seem then try something new. Just keep doing the same thing over and over, and fail at everything except being miserable.

Usually I don’t care. Sometimes I just observe. This time I was invested. To what end? You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them sing the blues… or something like that.

I grew up in a place where it appeared to me that everyone I knew was like this, so this human trait is nothing new. I just find it The Strangest Thing that not everyone has received the memo that this is a losing hand.

World Peace

Domestic War

We love our Squabbles

That’s For Sure.

Peace and Quiet have engulfed the land.

The kid goes to school and I work part-time.

There’s nothing but growth and abundance here.

Living in the trenches never prepares you for the quiet of victory.

I have never been in real war, just a domestic one.

I have grown up in a time of world peace and domestic war.

The Sacrifices made by those before us are lost on some…

Nothing is left now except the future.

I have made peace with the past, or at the very least; something that looks like peace.

Now is my time with her and we will always have this.

I know nothing about the future except there’s a a darkness there; an unknown…

So many worries have been about nothing. Fears that have happened because of the words of others or inherited from an ancient past; I don’t know. I just know I am going to face this future with a hope for something more.

Dennis Mantin

10 days without coffee.

It’s really not so bad.

I’ve been napping and I’m sleeping.

The best naps I’ve ever had.

10 days without coffee.

My life is filled with a strange dream

Of making it to day 11.

Not as rough as it might seem.

I never thought I’d get here and yet… Here I am on this trip of getting old.

I am certain now that we all have our own unique experiences and mine is different from yours; however, I am guessing now: that we all come to many of the same conclusions.

1. In my youth I would argue and rail against all inaccuracies I heard. Now I just don’t care if you are right or wrong. You are entitled to your opinions… I  guess.

2. Just this week I got screamed at for saying “good morning “ to a stranger by that stranger. I will not make this mistake again and keep my opinions to myself.

3. Nothing is more important than family. Friends I don’t know anymore. I see friends so seldom. This I had in complete reverse in my younger years.

4. I have always believed in God. Even as a child. I have never believed I was…

5. I have learned to listen. This was hard to accomplish.

6. The work ethic has never left. I am a bit like the Anglicans… We are trying to work our way to heaven.

7. I hate bullies. Always have. Growing up skinny I experienced this phenomenon. I find it interesting to experience fear of me; because I am a large bald man. Life is truly funny and balanced and filled with delightful irony.

8. I will continue to be me as long as I’m allowed; mainly because I know nothing else. I don’t have a plan and perhaps never will. I am according to my daughter a wonderful father and I know of no greater accomplishments.

The mood was psychedelic.

The vibe was out of mind.

There were smiles and some nudity.

Not a road map for the blind.

The enchanted were enlightened.

The trip was great beyond.

The Guru’s all kept taking turns.

At the moaning groaning blonde.

There were feelings of forever.

You just knew it couldn’t last.

There’s a lesson to be learned I’m sure.

All just memories of the past.

I thought the world gone crazy. Inner voice said I was wrong.

I sometimes try to listen. Sometimes I try to be that strong.

‘There’s a movement without leaders. They want what they can’t be.

They use the web and ignorance. No sense that they can see.

Some people just love danger. Like the Joker, they do yearn…

To take away the beauty, and see how the world will burn.