Must be spring!

I have seen today, multiple happy shiny people walking together, smiling, conversing, holding hands. And not just same sex. Actual opposite sex couples. I felt like I was in a museum. Marvelous!

I realize I have grown cynical and I do not wish them any ill… I just smile at their chances.

At least they have now… which may hold later as a nice pleasant memory.

I can’t even imagine what brings couples together anymore.

Yesterday I had my wisdom tooth removed and today I feel unusually fantastic and I believe these 2 events might be related.

George has been my dentist for 30 years. When we first met his office was on Bay Street and about 2 years later he moved to the same building as my Doctors office.

I lived for a time in my art studio on Temperance Street above a bar (Spreads) that catered to bike couriers. Bicycle couriers don’t generally have much money and George Karras offered free dental services to many of those couriers due to their lack of funds. I found this out years later.

30 years later, George moves his office into another building which is the same office as my daughter’s pediatrician.

Thanks to Jordan Peterson and the YouTube format I have been informed that the Nobel Prize Winner Alexander Solzhenitsyn said in his acceptance speech for his literary prize:

“A single person who stops lying can bring down a tyranny.”

Quite a statement…

George has been my dentist for forever…

30 years actually.

I am prone to exaggeration… me and the rest of humanity.

This is my first visit where I am in enough pain where I am going to ask for a wisdom tooth removal.

There is little I have experienced that gets my attention more than a tooth ache.

Any man capable of sticking needles in your mouth and not feel anything is in my humble opinion worthy of praise!!

Well done George 👏

Success…

I have sifted through the greys and dark shades of winters whites and somehow have come out the other side…

“Will this winter ever end?”

Certain things have not made it through. They are with those people left behind… Somewhere sifting…

They scurry from the shadows as the low beams cut the fog of early morning at the corner of walk and don’t walk…

“Spare change… spare change?”

I drive to work through the mists and diversions, towards a tomorrow payday where someone keeps a tally.

“Spare change?”

I wonder which one of us is better off…

But it passes quickly and the light changes.

09

I believe I have perfected this art and I also believe it is good for the soul…

I believe this due to the number of people who seemingly lose their minds when I am engaged in this worthwhile endeavor.

The problem with being a long time sober alcoholic isn’t that you forget what you are… It’s that we become so anonymous that no one else realizes what we are unless you go to a meeting.

A friend came to me recently to tell me about her woes regarding a relationship she is in with an alcoholic/drug addict…

I told her I don’t give relationship advice due to the fact I’ve never had one, however I added, ” You probably should start attending Alanon meetings. “

All of this got me thinking about my own early sobriety and my somewhat unique experience of often breaking out into hysterical laughter, often at the expense of someone else’s pain.

The last time this happened was probably the worst. 10 of us were seated around a 12 seated table in a small room. One of the 10 was a woman who was a beautiful woman about 60, who had the distinction of being a former Nun and a former Hooker as well as being an alcoholic. I was very taken with her. She had an alcoholic friend with her who was mid-forties, blonde and beautiful as well. They were the real reason I choose this particular room. The only other person I remember at this table was a clean cut man of about 50 who seemed unusually eager to share. His arm shot upon the chairperson asked for volunteers to speak.

He shared that he had been sober for 17 years and his drinking buddies from the ‘old days’ were still drinking and they had not died yet as a result of their continued efforts and this had somehow angered this man.

By this point I was holding my face in my hands in an effort to conceal my laughter and the man continued…

He was further angered by the fact that despite the fact that he had been sober for all this time, that he was still going to die.

I was now no longer trying to hide my joy. I looked around the table and the Nun/Hooker and her hot friend were also laughing. The man continued to share his pain and somehow life went on.

People would tell me that I was wasting time…

Standing

Staring

Watching

Waiting

I didn’t know where to go or what to do.

I wondered how they knew?

I always knew that I would figure it out and I did.

Back then I wasn’t ready for doing.

I was watching and waiting.

I knew that I didn’t know and you could fill libraries with that…