I can feel that Change is coming. It is coming and going again.

It was bound to happen… Except no one could say when.

No signs are on the gate post. No notice is at the fair.

It’s just when we need it most. The clowns don’t seem to care.

They say misery loves companions. The way that lovers do.

And even they can cry at night. In my times I’ve seen a few.

There are clouds now in the heavens. Somehow it feels like rain.

There are whispers between raindrops saying, “Here we go again.”

Change is coming. I don’t want to say goodbye.

Sometimes there are reasons. Sometimes there’s a why.

I had no defense against her determination to lie…

Ned the cat has found a way to come in and out without the need for me to hold a door; she travels through the upstairs window.

I have lost interest in trying to predict the future.

Sleep walking through it all…

She has arrived and given meaning.

I am feeling something I won’t name for fear.

Complete and absolute fear of its departure.

I remember now what it was like without.

Going back seems so… yesterday.

However yesterday was quite spectacular!

She said, “Nothing is free.”

Everything else you pay for.

Maybe it’s just me.

Was hopeful for something more.

She gave into my desire and I felt that thing referred to as happy for a moment and then… it was over.

I put so much effort and hope for so little? A pebble in the mountains of life.

This is the error of men.

I won’t make this mistake again said no one ever.

My most memorable experiences have usually happened when I didn’t get what I wanted.

The ship ‘Good Intentions’ is burning now and I am in the lifeboat.

No one else seems to have made it out alive. The sun will soon break over the horizon.

There is at the very least, hope.

The water is calm with little in the way of wind.

I like the quiet…

‘They will probably hang me for this.’

I am a sailor on a ship called,

Good Intentions.

Our Captain has taken leave of his senses and dove into the deep water in his efforts to be with the mythical mermaid Lila…

He is there now and we are adrift.

The first mate JC should have taken the helm, but this being his last Voyage before retirement; he is reticent with fear. For his lifelong desire to happen now; and in this manner, has not lined up with any of his past dreams. That ship has sailed. JC is lost in thought down in the galley with his whitish cracked knuckles wrapped around a brown bottle.

There are as many whispers about mutiny as there is about promotion. Their eyes are looking at me to fill the void. I am hesitant as neither the mutiny or promotion is what they appear.

I’ve been looking for something new. Perhaps this is it!

I gave a speech of sorts that was short and concise and to my surprise no voice of opposition rose. A light appeared on the horizon out of the darkness and we are heading towards that.

We are heading towards shore I think. I am still hopeful for finding the Captain and the lovely Lila..

I am a sailor on a ship called…

‘Best Intentions.’

Our Captain has taken leave of his senses and dove into the deep water in his efforts to be with the mythical mermaid ‘Lila’

He is there now and we are adrift.

There are as many rumor of the mutiny as there are of promotions, but neither of these is what they appear to be.

There is a light cutting through the darkness over there and we are finally floating towards the shore…

I will be writing this story as it unfolds!

I am always fooled by deception; until I’m not. By that time the damage is done.

Unless I have a reason to believe people like a past history… I’m not believing anything I am told.

Time and patience will reveal.

A path of singular solitude is at best isolated. There is no parade or offers of paradise and gifts of love.

There are no groupies here.

There is discovery. Quiet moments of aha… This is as good as it can get until…

You discover by reading or film or story tellers of the others who discovered similar things on similar paths before you, long ago.

There is a quiet validation in this.