I was tired in the morning.

In the time before sunrise.

I was tired of the moaning.

I was tired of the lies.

There was hope at the horizon.

A light that came from somewhere far.

That traveled from the heavens.

Just to be, where we both are.

Roses are Red

Life Isn’t Fair

The Big Head Speaks

And I Don’t Care.

The Big Head

With no ears

And large gaping mouth.

Sent a message today…

Rambling insanity fears disguised as…

Her cycles are in a tight daily spiral now.

The Big Head has consumed itself; swallowing everything good it can shove in and yet unable to swallow or speak is now yelling and screaming insanity via the world wide web.

You go girl! Any luck and soon you will become art.

It’s funny how a message can change your day or even your life if you let it. I have been angry and out of sort all fucking day.

I can’t believe I allow myself to give up this  kind of power to someone, anyone, especially someone I respect so little.

And here I am. Calmed down and the world did not end…

Someone suggested I just stop reading the mail from this person.

Now there’s an idea that’s getting some traction around here.

Her daughter unblocked her at least temporarily while she was studying with the Guru’s in the south of France.

She took it as a sign that the Guru’s were tapped in psychically and spiritually which was above my pay grade; however I had my doubts.

My daughter said, “I want to unblock her Dad. After all she is my mother.”

I told her it was her choice but I did think it was a totally unbelievable situation for a child to be in.

She wanted to be my enemy and I never saw the advantage in that for anyone.

I’ve often wondered about the Guru’s and are they smart enough to wonder about the other side of the story…

It is quiet and peaceful here in the end of July 2022…

‘I slept like a baby’ As the saying goes and the baby is still sleeping. The baby is almost 11 now and we will be together for 2 years just the 2 of us at the end of August.

She is talking about getting a farm again which is a good sign. Probably is a good thing to have something to look forward to…

One more week and this contract is over. We will drive to Cape Breton and then after that, come back and there will be another one of those and she will go back to school.

She seems happy.

I am about to start writing again. This time is a treatment for a screenplay which I have not done before. The Hero of this story has everything taken from him, or so he thinks… until he meets someone who truly has everything taken from him and turns his life around in new and spectacular ways when he decides to go back and help that man who has truly lost everything.

I have lived these delusions.

The choices are Sunflower Farm or Lavender farm with The Girls…

Things could be worse.

I’m never sure about leaving the city. I’m ok with the arrival but it’s the drive out of urban sprawl that is wrought with anxiety.

I’ve never gone anywhere with “The Girls” together…

The Elders forewarned me to their concerns and fears…

I sat on the front porch beneath the hanging baskets of freshly watered plants.

My shotgun loaded and cocked behind the door, I waited for the gigantic oval head with that large gaping hole for a mouth and no ears…

When I had her in my sights is when I awoke. Best sleep I’ve had in years…

The ears withered away to nothing leaving the gigantic head to a perfect oval sphere, with a large gaping mouth uttering narcisstic arrogant resentment.

With No Ears the perfectly oval head could only hear the thoughts that rattled behind the large gaping hole of a mouth perched upon the tiny neck too small to swallow her own desires.

The Horror, The Horror…

Oh I’m sorry…

Did you want proof of your existence?

Her extremely large mouth seemed oddly proportionate to her mammoth head, as she laughed and cajoled about this pain and that. Her views on life were succinct:

Resentments.

Arrogance.

Narcissism.

She was fucked! Destined to be alone and miserable… And yet somehow I found myself strangely attracted.