I hear the screams in the distant dark and my mind paints pictures for just milliseconds of assault and horror not to the drunken frivolity it is AND then I get back to reality of where I am being a single parent separated in a world of responsibility and comforts like Epson salt baths and butter chicken dinners and it makes me kind of wonder what in the name of the baby Jesus did I find so appealing about that world of screaming and drunken debauchery that now makes me recoil like a demon from holy water and there it is in a nutshell I have my answer I mean how else was I going to become a father??