I experienced ‘ordinary madness‘ at an age that many are burdened with childhood.
The disadvantages of playful banter with friends and family were for me too awful to even imagine.
They went to great efforts to ensure I not spend too much time in the childish pursuit of play. The urgency fo me grapple the joys of adulthood as soon as humanly possible were not without transitional malfunction.
Only after reading Bukowski did I realize how common this condition was and I was able to settle in and dissect this infirmity of emotional instability.
I got lucky I guess. To be in procession of such insights and understanding are from what I can see; not ordinary.