I have a roommate for the first time in decades, a friend who’s helping me with my daughter; as I am without doubt a Single Father.

I heard him talking and a woman’s voice outside my house in the early morning and found out that he went outside to walk off a headache, only to find a young couple smoking crack in our yard.

He asked, “Do you live here?”

She lied, “Yes.”

He responded, “So if I call the cops then you won’t have any problems?”

And finally she said before leaving, “This used to be such a nice neighborhood before all the yuppies moved in.”

Can’t make this shit up.