I fell out of love by mid-day.

The snow was white and fast.

There was crunching in the footsteps.

All the praise for cold had passed.

I was huddled with my cafe cream.

I was braced at distant storm.

Then I remembered that you weren’t here.

Once again, my heart did warm.

All those important things that I used to focus on…

Sports scores.

Getting high.

The drunken dances where I didn’t dance.

The partying!

Was it all a waste of time?

Certainly not!

All part of the journey…

The problem is not that you lied.

The problem is that I can’t trust you again. 

I held you above the masses.

Now you are just among the herd…

Grazing

Shitting

Complaining

Or whatever it is, your lot does there.

Their smiles came so easy. I was awestruck… just amazed!

To wonder what it must be like? To feel that unfazed.

To grow up with a knowing trust. That you will never be let down.

That someone’s looking out for you.  They are here and not left town.

I felt I should not warn them.  Knowledge of their fates will come.

Cause I kinda like their happy talk. You know it really works for some.

So I smiled insincerely, tried it on, felt like a fool.

I’ll just stick to what I know, in the deep end of the pool.

He’s a mover and a shaker.

A real man about the town.

Spectacular difference-maker.

A center stage prime spotlight clown.

All ego, gall, and arrogance.

With that winking sort of eye.

He will dance and leave you breathless.

No more truths; it’s all a lie.

The bitter cold has lifted, the snowflakes melted wet.

The winds are more forgiving, we are huddled with feet set.

On ground as hard as clay now, under sky as white as bone.

We are humbled and forgiven, yet we feel so all alone.

Maybe it’s just the season, it might be something more.

We are waiting on deliverance, in that distance there’s a roar.

The voices they were moving.

On the water and in the air.

In her head was far from soothing.

And your name was everywhere.

She was holding onto sanity.

By a needle and a thread.

Her thoughts? Not worth a mention.

Except some mumbled words were said.

Something  happened somewhere.

Was a child, and then she grew.

Lived in the pain of “that’s not fair.”

Then she set her eyes on you.

In the gravity of her attention.

You were savior on white horse.

For her, not worth a mention.

You just failed… of course. Of course.

All those tears, ‘not worth a mention.’

Because you know she has to cry.

Now that I have your full attention…

You can stay or wave bye-bye.

I was broke at the beginning.

In the middle was just bent.

On the horizon is the ending.

And the kid was heaven sent.

All tallied, I owe nothing.

There are demons at the door.

And I sleep with peace descending.

No regrets or want for more.

I was attracted by her beauty.

Even read the things she wrote.

In her diary of private thoughts.

She said I wouldn’t get her vote.

I feel no guilt or shaming.

Even if somehow I got caught.

Don’t care about your feelings.

Because I know you can be bought.

There’s a quiver in the ether.

A faint hint of rich fresh air.

I will use this little breather.

Just to plan and scheme and stare.

You said you wanted feelings.

With a longing for deep truth.

You said you wanted Superman.

He’s on a cellphone by the booth.

He said he doesn’t like you.

He’s not into girls no more.

We are living in a brand new world.

And I’m by the exit door.

When we are young…

With little or nothing to compare with:

Our experience was to each of us; normal.

Only later, when we are informed by the others, do we discover how abnormal this experience really was…

Here lies the opportunity

Embrace this and accept that view!

To quote Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.

“All the wise men don’t know what it’s like to be thick as a brick.”

I do.