I don’t believe in such nonsense… It was just coincidence that they said my father was dead when he wasn’t and that my mother caught her first husband trying to kill my older sister or that the mother of my daughter…

However I have these unconcious fears. If I give this voice or pen will it be the prick to that balloon? It is my daughter I fear for.

I pray daily because I would rather be wrong about that than be wrong about the consequences of not praying .

I have this theory that courage to face fears is the difference in those realms of unknown circumstances that sometimes requires faith or as David said to me, “When that hairy hand of fate reaches out from the darkness to squeeze the life out of you; you stab it. That’s what I love.”

Oh to be that sure.

Weary in the shadows, that glow before the sun.

I’ve rested in a restless dream that has no need for fun.

We made it to the sunrise, awake and full of blood.

That flows and fuels this vessel that’s hope and flesh and mud.

I’ve prayed and laid it out, to this spirit I call God.

I told him of my woes and fears, just waiting for a nod.

The sun will rise I’m certain, see the orange glow in the east.

Another day upon us, Another chance to feast.

The winds are slightly stirring, a slight rain in the air.

I know I should be happy and smiles without a care.

There’s a feeling that’s uneasy that comes with lack of sleep.

Best now not to say a word, the silence I can keep.

I’ve been falling out of love.

I’ve been feeling out of touch.

Been slapped by hand in glove.

And the pains not bad as such.

Been down… but there’s no panic.

Between Princess and the Fool.

Not feeling at all a romantic.

Silence will be the rule.

I will ride this out till doomsday.

Got plans and hopes inspire.

These voices in my head at play.

They all singing to the choir.

The optimist says she’s healing.

The pessimist says she’s sick.

It’s all the same sick feeling.

A mind over matter parlor trick.

I left you in the rearview, not long, awhile back.

You stood in the doorway saying… something, talking smack.

I never learned to love you, now I know I said I did.

I just learned to love myself and that embarrassment… yes I hid.

Sometimes we just grow up fast, then we listen to our heart.

Or sometimes we grow tired of all that being ripped apart.

Somewhere in that distance I hear an old song play.

There’s still time to change your path, I smile when they say.

There’s a bustle in your hedgegrove, not sure now what they meant?

The pipers calling someone but the gold has all been spent.

Words can have two meanings and sometimes there’s a toll.

The piper found the stairway, taken back everything that you stole.

A beautiful stranger smiled at me and I immediately got suspicious…

I looked over my shoulder to see who else it could be that she was looking at while simultaneously checking with my right hand to see if my wallet were still in place.

I walked away not daring to look back… the moment was gone and at the very least; one of us was exposed.

Dennis Mantin

It’s all getting very boring.

All these memories we be storing.

If I were sleeping, I’d be snoring…

Could we all just please shut up?

No more, Diddy. Please, who cares?

Or ‘TheDonald’ or Elon in pairs…

Is this the end of comments and stares?

Could we all just please shut up?

I said I would love you forever.

I was young and terribly shy.

Gave you credit for being clever.

Didn’t know how to say goodbye.

Was over before it started.

It’s just the way it was.

Don’t need to be so broken hearted.

Sometimes it’s just because.

I didn’t really know about love

Just kinda thought I did.

Only when push comes to shove.

Fight or flight? I ran and hid.

I have that thing going on…

That feeling where I can find whatever excuse I need to fail.

It has a need… This Thing.

A need to live and breathe and thrive!

What the therapist’s refers to as… Intergenerational Transmission of Family Dysfunction.

Awareness is the key I’ve been told and I am seeped in Awareness NOW.

I will break this chain for me and mine.

There is a heart shaped carve in rosewood.
There’s a line drawn in the sand.
I pray there on grace and wonder,
and there’s a baby, she’s in my hand.

There’s a virtue called forgiveness.
From a force we can’t see.
It’s how I deal with darkness.
Of how I feel when you’re with me.

I struggle now to hear you.
Seek approval in your eyes.
I hate you for your beauty.
Like I love you for your lies.

It’s a sad sad situation
Department sad but true.
You fear that they are coming
And you fear what they will do.

It’s a sad sad situation
Under heading sad but true
You fear that they are coming
No one is coming for you.

Dennis Mantin