An old friend reminded me of something yesterday…

Your parents prepare you the best that they can but in the end, the world owes us nothing, and often delivers.

Looking for something I seemed to miss.

Searching and yearning, heavenly bliss.

My child, my daughter I find all this.

The simplicity and beauty of a freshly opened orchid.

Photograph by David Carlson

Orchid by God

The trick is, if you’re upset, to STOP: and ask yourself if you are HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY or TIRED.

The wisest will tell you that we so seldom speak of being LONELY that the symbol should be referred to as H.A.T.

Having thoughts lots about dying.

And other things that I don’t know.

Its not the fear that’s got me down.

Just that I don’t want to go.

Now sure I know I have no choice.

Has been made abundant and clear.

This transformation is all the rage.

I just kinda like it here.

I hear all this complaining.

What’s wrong about this and that.

You never really stood a chance.

With an attitude like that.

It’s calmer in the evenings, bathing in that sparkling light.

Just moments of peace and wonder where wonder brings the night.

Before the fears take over and time has had her way.

Its nothing short of dying and those words you try to say.

It’s because we love and want and out of that we grow the fear.

When I see my daughter and wish my Mom was here…

I saw her in the mid day.

Later her voice was on the phone.

She told me what she wanted.

I asked, “Are you still alone?”

She told me that she wasn’t.

But that the company wasn’t great.

I said, “Now imagine that’s forever…

And choose wisely who you mate.”

I cleaned my entire house including under the kitchen sink … where I found a previous residents drug stash.

Having had my day with such activities I was blindsided by the unexpected and got triggered.

I had drug using dreams last night for the first time in more than a decade and found myself having thoughts of…

I flushed twice.