We were dreaming of a future.

Where something better came along.

When we could guide the children.

Where we could be that strong.

We were dreaming of a future.

And the future it is here.

And we are all so happy now.

There was so much crap to clear.

We were up against those forces.

In a post Thanos multiverse.

All the heroes, they now know.

To carry makeup in their purse.

Now that that’s been settled.

No more God or faith no more.

Our leaders are busy leading.

No more questions or out the door.

So much running near on empty

All these efforts without praise.

And so much time to criticize.

A thought or 2 to raise.

I’m older and I know some things.

You, I’m not so sure.

If you tell me how to blow my nose.

You’ll find silence is my cure.

There’s a moment in the ether.

No relationship does lack.

Don’t need to know every thought.

Some of it, please hold back.

.

I was scratching at the surface

Perfecting living in my head.

So much the devil in the details.

More like the words you hadn’t said.

I am finding the escape route.

That may be here, but we don’t know.

I just know that if I follow you.

There’s nowhere for me to go.

So keep on what you’re doing.

Me? I’ll be just fine.

Meditate on that Mofu.

See you at the finish line.

There was peace in understanding.

Though all love was short supply.

There’s no sale without rebranding.

Somewhere deep, I had to try.

There’s no hope in no forgiveness.

You can’t stand in yesteryear.

You took it all. It was your business

And you hardly shed a tear.

There is no badge with all this honor.

Just the gold of peace of mind.

I don’t look the gift horse in the mouth…

You’ve been so much more than kind.

I got so God damn tired.

Working. Banking. Chasing Quest.

Even the fortune telling lady.

Said, “Stop, son, might I suggest?”

I was dreaming in the meadows.

With milk honey, maybe more.

Where all the sales are on discount.

Nothing’s rotten to the core.

I was running, waking breathless.

My cock was in my hand.

I was lonely but well rested.

And nothing more was planned.

When men feel stress, they process.

When women feel stress, they talk.

Generally speaking, women feel uncomfortable with the men’s process because it happens in silence.

For a man to talk when he’s stressed only increases his stress.

I’ll just leave this here and go away for a while and write…

Talk among yourselves

OR

Process by yourself.

I was rolling in the darkness.

The winter turns to spring.

Not much more than plenty.

I guess I didn’t need a thing.

I see her growth in real time.

Sometimes, I witness all.

Take it in and keep in stride.

And just pray I don’t appall.

The light is on horizon.

I am almost out of bed.

There are reasons to be hopeful.

For less reasons than you said…

A dory is a small row boat used by fishermen.
I knew we were in trouble when I couldn’t get Dexter to sit down as he tried to untangle the net, rocking the dory; taking on river water.
My warning,
“We’re going to sink if you don’t sit down . ”
This seemed to fall on deaf ears.
I remembered Harold’s wise words.
“If you think you’re going under, remove your rubber boots, or you will drown.”
I was sitting in my socks in the middle of the river, bailing water with a rubber boot as the dory disappeared beneath me. We had reached the tipping point.
The Atlantic Ocean water is cold in late October and adds weight to sweaters made of wool.
I heard Dexter splashing. However, my main focus early on was to not get tangled up in the net. When I was sure I was clear, I was dog tired and decided to allow my body time to recover for another push to shore. This required holding my breath and allowing myself to sink to the bottom Deception River.
It was here in the estuary with approximately 10 feet of the Atlantic Ocean over my head that I realized that it had been perhaps decades since I had prayed and this might be an opportune time to return to the practice. The prayer went something like this.
“Dear God… If you get me out of this; I will never drink again. ”
I pushed off the river bottom and swam towards shore in the darkness. I remembered Persy’s warnings,
“Don’t panic… to panic is death.”
I sank, stayed calm and reached dry land .
Dexter yelled from the opposite shore.
I sat for a moment cold and grateful to be alive and thought to myself… If I don’t get out of here, I’m going to die.

Dennis Mantin