It’s a difficult realization for certain people to realize. However, blood is not always thicker than water.

The leading reason for relationship breakups where there is children involved is when the oldest child becomes more mature than the least mature parent.

Dennis Mantin

I do know that I have to stop being pissed off.

I do know that I have to stop speaking in frothy expressions…

I do know that I can’t read their minds.

I do know that asked questions are not necessarily going to get answers.

I don’t know why I ever got into a relationship or a marriage.

I don’t know why I had children.

I don’t know…

I am tired.

Only once in my life have I gone to a fortune teller… It was in Vancouver in 1985 which means I was 26.

The Fortune Teller was an Asian man not more than a decade older than me and didn’t offer one piece of fortune telling prophecy.

Instead, what I remember was he told me to take care of myself, take care of my teeth, go to a dentist, eat fruits and vegetables, meditate, get proper rest and things of this nature.

All of it good advice however at the time I felt ripped off because I was expecting something different.

In hindsight what he was telling me was, “Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself… Which is about the best advice I’ve ever received.

The bitter cold has lifted, the snowflakes melted wet.

The winds are more forgiving, we are huddled with feet set.

On ground as hard as clay, under sky as white as bone.

We are humbled and forgiven, yet we feel so all alone.

Maybe it’s just the season, it might be something more.

We are waiting on deliverance, in that distance there’s a roar.

I’d been searching for the answers… When finally she came along.

Preforming miracles, curing cancers. Giving music to the song.

She taught and gave directions. Even when I didn’t ask.

She let me know my fortune. In her sunshine I could bask.

She showed me all my foibles. And how little I evolved.

I felt criminally unworthy, so I left her. Mystery solved.

The voices they were moving.

On the water and in the air.

In her head was far from soothing.

And your name was everywhere.

She was holding onto sanity.

By a needle and a thread.

Her thoughts? Not worth a mention.

Except some mumbled words were said.

Something  happened somewhere.

Was a child, and then she grew.

Lived in the pain of “that’s not fair.”

Then she set her eyes on you.

In the gravity of her attention.

You were savior on white horse.

For her, not worth a mention.

You just failed… of course. Of course.

All those tears, ‘not worth a mention.’

Because you know she has to cry.

Now that I have your full attention…

You can stay or wave bye-bye.

Once you escape.

Create a safe distance.

Enter therapy!

Heal…

And try again.

If fortune shines your way.

You find someone who is kind and loving. 

Only then  will you realize that a younger version of you made that choice.

“The world is a wonderful place… it’s just filled with cunts and the internet is to blame.”