The success it came so early, in that spotlight was big love.

They lined up and smiles pearly, to help when push would come to shove.

The youth it is the first to go. Like smiles in the rain.

You never learned to handle ‘NO!’ There’s a softness in your pain.

Now you’re a little older, standing crying in the shade.

No courage to get bolder, such a shame you had it made.

There are lessons in your story. There’s a winners/losers card.

If no pain is in your glory, the lessons learned are hard.

Tis early here at crow piss; its darkest before the dawn.

Been dreaming about her beauty, and a smile she had on.

Time is somehow fleeting, on a race to God knows where.

I’m just naked in the shadows, with a calm yet distant stare.

Might sound like I’m complaining, I’m just searching for more sleep.

There’s a laughter in the distance; followed by a gentle weep.

Their smiles came so easy. I was awestruck… just amazed!

To wonder what it must be like to be feeling that unfazed.

To grow up with a knowing trust; that you’ll never be let down.

That someone’s looking out for you, and is here and not left town.

I felt I shouldn’t warn them of their fates so sure to come.

Cause I kinda like their happy talk, You know it really works for some.

So I smiled insincerely, tried it on, felt like a fool.

I’ll just stick to what I know, in the deep end of the pool.

Their smiles came so easy. I was awestruck… just amazed!

To wonder what it must be like to be feeling that unfazed.

To grow up with a knowing trust; that you’ll never be let down.

That someone’s looking out for you, and is here and not left town.

I felt I shouldn’t warn them of their fates so sure to come.

Cause I kinda like their happy talk, You know it really works for some.

So I smiled insincerely, tried it on, felt like a fool.

I’ll just stick to what I know, in the deep end of the pool.

Their smiles came so easy. I was awestruck… just amazed!

To wonder what it must be like to be feeling that unfazed.

To grow up with a knowing trust; that you’ll never be let down.

That someone’s looking out for you, and is here and not left town.

I felt I shouldn’t warn them of their fates so sure to come.

Cause I kinda like their happy talk, You know it really works for some.

So I smiled insincerely, tried it on, felt like a fool.

I’ll just stick to what I know, in the deep end of the pool.

A June wind is short of howling.

The leaves are holding fast.

There’s a face on Queen that’s scowling.

Pretty sure its going to last.

The ambulance and cops have landed.

A gurney has rolled down.

All the way from for forever.

Where dreams wash up and drown.

The sirens leave in silence.

There’s a dancer in the rain.

The tears are from her laughter.

Poor girl she’s gone insane.

You do not know what you do not know.

There were a few disappointments and setbacks along the way; but really with nothing to compare it with, I just carried on…

My daughter put it into perspective for me after we got her assessed and found out that she is a gifted child; she said, “They told me for so long that I had a learning disability that I thought, why bother trying? After I got the assessment and found out that I had the abilities… I decided to put in the effort.”

Life is like that especially when you’re a kid: A positive attitude will make all the difference to build and a negative attitude will also have its power to destroy.

I’m guessing life is like that for adults as well however if you’re a child you’re a victim. If you’re an adult… you’re a volunteer.

I have that luxury! I support her…

Rome wasn’t built in a day.

A long time ago I could fall in love with a glance.

Neediness was the addiction…

Beauty the drug…

Zero self awareness; The problem.

I have moved past this hurtle with time into a more realist point of view which to me seems quite psychopathic when compared to my previous romantic leanings…

Change is good!

Writers and deep thinkers like Herman Hesse propose that if we see something in human behavior that we don’t like… Then we are observing something about ourselves that we find offensive.

I will admit that there is a possibility of this; however a certainty?

Quite often I see behavior in people that can be nothing short of mental illness. The fact that I don’t appreciate the finer details of insanity is not an indication of my own illness.

I’m sure I could convince Mr Hesse to the errors of his ways if he were still among us; however I have little willingness to educate those who keep banging this drum of supposed certainty.

When I was very young I noticed a trait in certain humans that confused me as to why they would do certain things…

My reaction to this behavior has always been fairly consistent: I would bewilderingly ask why? What was the gain? You destroyed your relationship with me for what? So little…

Yesterday I read a Dostoyovski quote that pretty much sums it up.

“Your worst sin is that you destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing. “

Perfect.

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