Running to and running from.

I have watched for a time and here we are. I am making my stand!

There is no option.

Challenge accepted.

I know my shadows well.

I choose the light.

Tread lightly for on this path there are consequences.

A loss she can’t bare and that stabbing pain of hurt victimhood ego yields a last stitch desperate attempt and…

In the end lawyers will be paid and I will have my freedom, my daughter, and really is there any price I wouldn’t pay for that?

It comes in fashion often without efforts sometimes in my dreams; even in my waking hours. The worry is here screaming what about me don’t you forget about me!

I sometimes wonder how it all began because I remember fearlessness…

Probably when I was 9 and fell that 51 feet off the railroad bridge and spent 2 days in that coma. Probably came to me in that coma which I remember nothing about other than when I woke. Been awake or dreaming for awhile now.

It’s always been a love of something. Perhaps I have never really understood. Maybe it was just a love of existing. Breathing and reacting to whatever came my way.

I never allowed myself self love or even like back then. There was always someone more worthy of adoration.

Things have changed. I have learned to love me and mine and would not have wanted anyone else’s journey.

The board was bought yesterday and today it’s pretty much all she’s talking about!

Has replaced TV as the go to… and that can’t be all bad?

Slappy seems intrigued.

I see her clinging to bygone childish behaviors that are so hard to say goodbye to; for beyond that are responsibility and toil along with hardships; real and imagined.

I will guide her with hopefully strong wise words and a soft gentle touch for the opposite of those is suffering and confusion. I have traveled this road for her… price payed my Love 💓

We will move forward together until I need to get out of the way, when you will take over… Until then you will listen for there is much for me to droan on about.

She won’t listen at school and they are talking ‘progressive discipline.’

Am reminded of the biblical quote… “When I was child I did childish things; when I became an adult I put away childish things.”

It’s difficult to grow up. I see the tears in her 9 years old eyes and remember what she’s feeling.

I have told her that she needs to demonstrate that she can listen and the best way to do this is stop talking unless spoken to. This is her greatest test as she loves to give opinion.

I am supporting this transition because she is becoming a target to her peers and this is not a fun place to be.

I know.

She chose him for his strength. She said, “He can walk on through the fire.”

Added “He will go to any length.” But he wouldn’t go no higher.

She loved to watch him dance and the band played to her cues.

The endgame came abruptly. A cold comfort when you lose.

Now she’s shooting daggers from eyes all filled with rage.

He’s been thinking of the coast and the turning of the page.

The moral to this story is if you live by lies.

You never really know what’s wrong but the truth is in the eyes.

Lived 49 years.

Died 50 years ago.

Hard to believe.

Love you Margaret MacIver

The cold in the city brought snow. Neither will stay long I know. Something like you. Summer days flew. In the end ya gotsta go.