There are no regrets, just experiences. The experience of losing a parent when you’re a child or loss of a child at any time is an experience full of regret, however it too does pass with time.

What must it be like to go through life without loss or regrets? To get old and the only thing that goes away is finally… your energy.

What a shock that much be. With nothing to compare to. This one does not get better with time. This one seems final.

There was confusion at the outset.

Unspoken silence in a blur.

There was a vague and fuzzy feeling.

Like the attraction I had for her.

There was something in the ether.

That held our gaze more than a smile.

An ancient distant haunting.

Like I’d known her for a while.

I left her at the counter.

A smile grin and then a nod.

A subtle fragrant mystery.

The like that makes me think of God.

She’s so quiet, incognito. Look twice and time just flies.

I’m so taken with her silence, I just stare and fill my eyes

I swear I made her smile once… I saw it, there was no mask.

And sometimes there are answers to the questions that I ask.

I fell into her disaster

To try to take on the role of hero.

I didn’t stay long.

Never have I felt more disrespected

Or more underappreciated.

It was really all my fault.

I never asked if she wanted out.

My mistake was assuming…

“Mind your own business!!!” A reminder.

To self

She was wild and unhinged, and flowed like water and held her ground; until she didn’t…

It couldn’t last forever. That sort of rare insanity was bound to have a cost.

She was complicated.

I swear I saw it as it happens…

Saw the joy rise in your eyes.

Like bubble comic Book Captions.

Thought; He’s believing all my lies.

New info was Fresh Bounty.

In that moment I just froze.

Like some cowards of the county.

I won’t become like one of those.

You were comfort in your beauty.

You knew secrets of the breeze.

To myself I have this duty.

Not to live there on my knees.

There’s a Cafe and there’s a moral.

And there’s a stool there at the bar.

And there are reasons that are plural.

That leaves you sitting where you are.

I never knew you well, but I could tell…

You were there, before Roma fell.

Now you’re gone, how your light shone.

They wouldn’t listen what you tried to sell.

I never knew you at all. But you stood tall.

Your tenored voice, that cadence drawl.

Now you’re gone, how your light shone.

Now there is no shame, you gave it all.

Spun them good with your song and dance.

They looked away, but they gave a glance.

Now you’re gone, how your light shone.

You know them well, they’re in a trance.

I never knew you well, but I could tell.

You had them fooled, you rang their bell.

Now you’re gone how you’re light shone.

Oh Diagnosis, how you’re light shone.

He was old with a Santa grey beard and wore a Toronto Maple leafs jersey, topped with a black hat that had the word, ‘Beatles’ stenciled on the front. A beautiful German Sheppard dog was at feet. I said good morning. He raised his head with the dog and they both looked at me.

I was stirring the cream into my coffee at Larry’s Folly and finally he said, I don’t mind the holidays but I like it when things get back to normality.

Yes I answered. Yes!

I have always liked watching people from a distance. One could argue that it was safety I craved and you’d get no argument from me…

They are an almost endless fascination, with their characters and flaws.

I have even achieved invisibility in certain circles where I made myself small and insignificant…

She is grieving now. I can hear her crying upstairs and she is holding Ned. We went to the Humane Society and they gave us the body of Fin the Ferret. Frozen.

The labor day parade backed traffic up for miles. We took a cab back and buried him beside Gigi.

We still have each other and Ned the Cat.

Dennis Mantin