In the morning upon awakening, I Jones for coffee.

It’s actually the americano that I like, which got its name during WW2 when the American soldiers watered-down the expresso of their Italian hosts.

On my trip, I hear the morning chants of fellow Jonesers! “Got a smoke?” They plead.

I’ve been thinking about fasting and giving up coffee in my attempts at immortality.

These grand ideas fade at my second Americano of the day.

I’ve recently read that there is a 4th addition to the triad of character traits for a psychopath.

The first 3 are:

1 Narcissism 2 Machiavellianism 3 Psycopothy…

The 4th is Sadism which is defined as taking pleasure from the pain of others.

You’re welcome!

It is Monday in the city.

The last one month of June.

School is ending for another year.

And it couldn’t end too soon.

I’ve been writing and remembering.

About that time, you said goodbye.

It is in the simple joys of living.

That keeps time flying by…

I was shocked into submission.

A freak of nature, strange and cruel.

Such sensation and humiliation.

To give such props to such a fool.

These are moments almost glowing.

In my memory, a three act play.

Where I smile in the knowing.

And live to fight another day.

I’m always a 1/2 hour early wherever I go. They sent me a message to wear a mask for my appointment. The receptionist remembered me and said, “It’s been a long time.”

I was in and out in 20 minutes and on time. The gifts of a post covid world. Empty waiting rooms and everything on time. I’ve  never seen Cassandra’s face. However, I’m guessing she’s beautiful.

I haven’t been sleeping well. I wake up tired. She’s sending me to a sleep clinic and an ear/nose/throat specialist. What a country this 🇨🇦 Canada.

I have lunch in Chinatown with my Vietnamese girlfriend, who speaks no English. I don’t speak Vietnamese; so it’s a perfect relationship.

I get a steroid nasal spray at the pharmacy, and my credit card is still giving me the approval sign.

I’m beginning to think Cassandra is the best doctor I’ve ever had…

A woman recognizes me on the streetcar and sits beside me. I haven’t seen her in 10 years. We used to go to A A. meetings together. I’ve been to her house and now I can’t remember her name.

She is still going to meetings. I am not. After a brief conversation, I remember why I stopped going.

Now I’m waiting for my daughter to finish up with her friends birthday party.

I have to get home to feed the cat and water the plants…

When I was young and knew everything, I stated that I wanted to be retired by the age of 35. Besides, the fact that I knew nothing about business, money, or lack of a plan didn’t stop me from uttering such nonsense. Irony, around the time I was 35, I found something I really liked and was good at that actually paid well…

I am taking the summer off and in what feels like early retirement, though it is just a break and an excuse to hang out with my 11 years old daughter.

She is still in school, and all I do is sleep, eat, and read. I’m not really sure what what the younger version of myself had planned for activities after my early retirement. No doubt sex,drugs, and rock n roll. Now that is funny!

Where I have lived for the last decade, on the wrong side of the tracks with the low rents & fashion crimes, amongst the madness, addiction, and poverty is getting old. I try walking past it all without stopping.

Just up the road is a coffee shop where I now go, mainly to leave my neighborhood, and although the buildings look the same, it might as well be a world away.

I can sit and read, and practically no one asks me for money. The young and beautifully affluent hardly offer me more than a glance. I like that. I like that a lot. I’m at that age now where I’m not interested in their opinions even if they offered them up. I am reading the Russian masters now. The Master & Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov…

This, too, shall pass.

Maybe there is only one… I don’t know.

However, one time, this genius used one of my profiles on Facebook to contact me. It’s always the same. Have I heard the great news. They saw my name on a list. Has the DHHS contacted me?

What I don’t understand is what does this Imposter get from doing this?

Anyone??

I see something sinking here.

Drifting… gone away.

Sinking to that bottom there.

No more light of  day…

Lately, I’ve been drinking here.

I’ve had so much to say.

There’s been all this thinking there.

I have to turn to look away.

It’s just these dreams. That I’m thinking of.

Oh, it’s not what it seems. I don’t believe in love.

Standing here at skies edge there.

With nothing but today.

Walking there on that ledge here.

Don’t you look the other way!!

Some days I just get things right here.

When I hear the  song you play.

Moves me to where I can see you there.

And not look the other way.

You move me… You do.

You move me, you do.

Its just those dreams, that I’m thinking of.

Oh, it’s not what it seems. I don’t believe in love.