Whenever I hear someone talk about their energy or spirituality, I automatically freeze up!

This is due to the assumption that I believe they don’t know what they are talking about.

“Oh I could be wrong!”

20 years ago when I was in the company of like minded practicing alcoholics and crack  addicts; I often got a similar vibe when I was being told by these folks as to how honest they were…

Which reminds me: What’s the difference between an alcoholic and a crack addict?

They both will steal from you; however the crack addict will help you look for it later on.

I believe there was a time when I used to frighten people…

Fear at this level was not foreign to me for I remember a time when I was frightened of me too, however these two relatives are really strangers…

They were afraid for their own safety.

I was scared I didn’t have what it took to survive me.

My daughter told me yesterday that she thought about a time in the future when I wouldn’t be alive and the thought made her cry.

I told her that that kind of love scares me as well…

I was hovering in a chopper.

My views were on the clowns.

The intent was just to stop her.

Not stand idle while she drowns.

From a distance, I could drop her.

Give me space to ease my brain.

Like a pimple, I could pop her.

Just to let us breathe again.

She likes to argue with the copper.

Has this thing for men in blue.

She likes conflicts. It’s her topper.

Like a drug; it is her do!

Hell came and left at dawn.

Bright colors ran away.

I rethought what I had on.

Faced my fears and met the day.

Shivers up my back are gone.

Memories had their say.

Changes spoke, I don’t belong.

Bright colors ran away.

I told you push comes to shove.

Run and fight another day.

So true, I don’t believe in love.

Bright colors ran away.

Repeat and rinse…

The Advisor is still speaking. My response will have to wait.

I know I should be so grateful. There’s so much now on my plate.

There’s this problem I can’t listen. All these voices in my mind.

A warning with some guidelines. With no words described as kind.

I am walking to her closer now. Standing, grinning eye to eye.

The Advisor has gone quiet now. I ask. “You sure it’s not a lie?”

My question has caused confusion. I can see her far off gaze.

She’s going to her safe house, where soft music always plays.

I know it can’t be permanent, someday she will return.

She has so much to teach me and I have so much to learn.

As a child you are a victim, an adult, a volunteer.

So many wrongs, and self abuse, in time to disappear.

The unforgiven have a prison that is dark and wicked deep.

If the unforgiving don’t let go then neither one can sleep.

A great unknown, that time has shown and sometimes looks like change.

If letting go has left some marks, then no words can rearrange.

Tears of laughter and tears of joy, they look the same I guess.

You killed my dog, I’ll kill your cat has no virtues; I confess.

So try and find forgiveness, or maybe just understand.

That if I hurt you I must confess it wasn’t really planned.

She was lovely in that sunshine. Said she was searching for a song.

It wasn’t the words or melody or the need for right or wrong.

She was searching for some meaning or a feeling in her heart.

But that train had left the station and it was tearing her apart.

I told her it’s time to kneel, when all else fails pray.

She thanked me for mansplaining and I just said ok.

That opaque interlude of childhood is far behind us.

Worn and tattered and splayed by uneven, unreliable memory…

Spread thin until it’s meaningless, no flavor, no substance…

Just unrelenting nonsense that needs to be stared down; gone but not forgotten.

We are in the heart of meaning NOW!! Standing, pacing, one step in front of the other, dealing with what needs be…

Maybe the opaque is required… maybe we need to grow before we can see behind that curtain and roll into the arms of Angel’s.

Dennis Mantin

There is a heart shaped carve in rosewood.
There’s a line drawn in the sand.
I pray there on grace and wonder,
and there’s a baby, she’s in my hand.

There’s a virtue called forgiveness.
From a force we can’t see.
It’s how I deal with darkness.
Of how I feel when you’re with me.

I struggle now to hear you.
Seek approval in your eyes.
I hate you for your beauty.
Like I love you for your lies.

It’s a sad sad situation
Department sad but true.
You fear that they are coming
And you fear what they will do.

It’s a sad sad situation
Under heading sad but true
You fear that they are coming
No one is coming for you.

Dennis Mantin

There’s a moment in the ether, a pause like quiet in the land.

When the kids she goes back to school and nothing goes as planned.

It’s like summer here and over.The sun takes back her warm.

You just batten down the hatches! And you brace for coming storm.

I’ve tried to teach with reasons. With some proverbs and some facts.

It gets cold. Enjoy the seasons. Get those monkeys off your backs.