Candice called herself Candy. She was blonde and slightly plump, 30, I guessed. Candy dragged her eyes from Al and smiled my way.

“I’m not interested in Al.” She purred, leaning over, whispering in my ear. “I know all about Al. You? I know nothing about.”

I introduced myself and bought Candice a drink. I began weighing Al’s mood as no one came his way.

The bouncer known as Tiny Tim made his way to our table and looked us all over. Tim was about 6’4″ and weighed roughly 300 pounds. He exchanged pleasantries with Al and glanced at Candice and then me. I guessed that I was the unknown that he was trying to guage.

After he left, Candice asked. “Do you think he’s tough?”

I answered honestly. “Haven’t a clue. Looks tough enough. “

“I went to his place once. He lives with his parents in the house he grew up in. In the bedroom he grew up in… He still has the wallpaper from when he was a boy; cowboys and Indians. His bed is still a single bed from when he was a boy! I couldn’t fucking believe it! Both his legs from his knees down are like jelly. Some kind of weird disease I don’t know. If you touched him in the shins, he would just crumble… He’s not tough at all… do you think you might like to fuck me.”

“Sure. If you don’t think Al or Tim would mind.”

“Let’s go to my place. I’m close.”

I looked at Al. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Either here or at the house…”

                            *******

I made my way back to Al’s before midnight and went to bed. I heard strange noises. It was a little after 3. I peaked out the bedroom door, and Al was standing in his underwear in the kitchen. He had a quart bottle of rum clutched in his right hand. He was half talking, half screaming with a guttural sound that came from his throat. He was staring at his ceiling. I would later find out that on the other side of his ceiling was the floor of the area where his son Mark sat listening to his father. Al kept repeating the same drunken mantra over and over and over again:

“I brought you into this world… and I can take you out… I will rip your throat out with my bare teeth…”

Then he would pound his fist with his left fist and repeat after swigging from his bottle.

“I brought you into this world… and I can take you out… I will rip your throat out with my bare teeth…”

I tried to go back to sleep with little success. I heard that mantra until sunrise.

It was a Friday somewhere in a 1980s, murky, distant past-darkness. I was 28.

I met Al’s son Mark through an ad in the paper. We agreed on rental terms for an apartment he was renting. However, it wouldn’t be ready before Monday.

I said, “It’s probably not going to work. I need a place now.”

Mark was a young and ambitious 28 year old man with a medium build and 5’8″ tall. He was one of those who seemed to have a solution for anything and everything.

He smiled. “Not  a problem. My father has a spare bedroom, and I’m sure he’ll rent it out for a couple of days until your unit is available. “

We went to his triplex, another of Mark’s properties. He lived on the 3rd floor. Al lived on the 2nd floor, and I didn’t know it at the time, but the 1st floor was empty and available.

Al and I agreed on terms, and he invited me out for a beer at some local dive down at Lansdowne and Bloor.

Al was from Malta, and he was about 60 and barrel chested. He told me he was once one of the most powerful men who ever lived. That was before all his teeth fell out with gum disease a couple of years previously.

“A month was all it took for them to all fall out… I’ve never really recovered. My once great looks gone like that.” Al snapped his chubby short fingers and took a swig from a bottle. He grimaced for a second and then smiled. “You’re still young and good-looking… We could make a great team, you and I.  The women will come over to see you, and I’ll just take the leftovers.”

I was having a difficult time keeping a straight face. So I decided to just go with it.

“So, I’m like the bait?”

“Exactly!”

Al’s smile seemed genuine this time. Not reptilian, like before. I couldn’t believe that he thought that I was going to be ok with this arrangement . Never had I met a man so full of himself; and so in love with his past. I began to weigh the possible dangers and inconveniences of such an arrangement against the potential entertainment value. I decided that it would be only 2 days when the first of the bar-flys came to the table and sat down and introduced herself to me. I could see Al smile through my perifrial.

“This is my roommate, Al.” I smiled…

An old saying goes, ‘You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.’

It’s not that I love work… However, I do like the financial rewards that come with…

I am a driver. I was car crazy from the beginning. It is not an accident that this is what I chose. I just didn’t know that it could pay so well. I was lucky to find the film industry.

Between Covid and strikes, these last 2 years have not been good financially. All of us are feeling it, I know.

I just wanted to acknowledge that it feels good to be back!

March is racing towards summer. Here it is still cold, and I pull a wool hat over my bald head and march on through the darkness on my way towards work…

I dropped the new dresser on my big toe, getting it up the stairs, and that gnarly nail will soon be replaced by a shiny new one. Hence, the kids comment about the wonders of the human body.

The Oscar’s I didn’t watch. However, I checked out the winners and am happy for Cillian and Robert Downey JR.

It’s spring break, and the kid is with friends for a few days, and I think we both need a spring break. Being a single parent is not easy for the parent or fair for the child. However, there are moments of enjoyment, and I continue to be teachable to what is and isn’t my business.

I think I am over my book being published because I left my copy at home today. I will try to learn to let that go and move on.

In a dark and dusty past where I used to dread getting old; now I find the seniors discount quite satisfying…

The sun is on the horizon, and another day is upon us. Hope it’s a good one!

I thought it was a holiday

The kid stayed home from school.

I slept in, dreamt of Le Tai.

The air sweet dark and cool.

I’ve been unusually happy.

I have returned to work.

The poverty is kept at bay.

Maybe the reason for the smirk.

We are somewhere on the home stretch.

The horizon I almost see.

In the affairs of God and man.

There’s this struggle to be free.

We were dreaming of a future.

Where something better came along.

When we could guide the children.

Where we could be that strong.

We were dreaming of a future.

And the future it is here.

And we are all so happy now.

There was so much crap to clear.

We were up against those forces.

In a post Thanos multiverse.

All the heroes, they now know.

To carry makeup in their purse.

Now that that’s been settled.

No more God or faith no more.

Our leaders are busy leading.

No more questions or out the door.

I was popular once in high school, which faded with the poverty of my early adult years. Somehow, I knew I would not be loved without money.

Money eventually came as did the choice of relationships. I chose poorly. However, I have since given up the illusion of love; where the truest form of freedom lies. In hindsight, against all odds, I chose well it now appears.

So much running near on empty

All these efforts without praise.

And so much time to criticize.

A thought or 2 to raise.

I’m older and I know some things.

You, I’m not so sure.

If you tell me how to blow my nose.

You’ll find silence is my cure.

There’s a moment in the ether.

No relationship does lack.

Don’t need to know every thought.

Some of it, please hold back.

.

I was scratching at the surface

Perfecting living in my head.

So much the devil in the details.

More like the words you hadn’t said.

I am finding the escape route.

That may be here, but we don’t know.

I just know that if I follow you.

There’s nowhere for me to go.

So keep on what you’re doing.

Me? I’ll be just fine.

Meditate on that Mofu.

See you at the finish line.

There was peace in understanding.

Though all love was short supply.

There’s no sale without rebranding.

Somewhere deep, I had to try.

There’s no hope in no forgiveness.

You can’t stand in yesteryear.

You took it all. It was your business

And you hardly shed a tear.

There is no badge with all this honor.

Just the gold of peace of mind.

I don’t look the gift horse in the mouth…

You’ve been so much more than kind.