I am nothing if not present.

And it’s always been that score.

Even when I couldn’t see.

When my back was at the door.

I hear distant sounding music.

Played by someone who was on tour.

Someone who can be that wise.

To know how and why and more.

In those times, I need to listen.

To those who came before.

Sometimes, I just need to be.

In the draft of troubadour.

It is warmer here now.

Just a touch below where water freezes.

The radio voice says the cold is over…

I am older now and better for it.

My kid was late for school and the world didn’t end.

A woman in British Colombia shot some kids at a school and then committed suicide.

The voice on the radio is speaking  now.

The Advisor is still speaking. My response will have to wait.

I know I should be so grateful. There’s so much now on my plate.

There’s this problem I can’t listen. All these voices in my mind.

A warning with some guidelines. With no words described as kind.

I am walking to her closer now. Standing, grinning eye to eye.

The Advisor has gone quiet now. I ask. “You sure it’s not a lie?”

My question has caused confusion. I can see her far off gaze.

She’s going to her safe house, where soft music always plays.

I know it can’t be permanent, someday she will return.

She has so much to teach me and I have so much to learn.

Everyone is cheating.

Except for you and me…

Options here? Slim and none.

Really, none that I can see.

The dreamers left the highlands.

Rumors are they’re coming back.

To the hope of honest smiles.

Where good story fades to black.

I was lost last night in forests.

Traveled far and deep with you.

There was peace and not much cheating.

Then I woke. That’s what I do.

I’ve been listening to the masses.

They be trying to bring me down.

I’ve been taking master classes.

Ever since the blues dropped into town.

They are talking about oppression.

Like, it’s shiny and brand new.

So much horror in that lesson.

That ironic cake to chew.

They are raging, eyes are blurry.

Tears they fall like April rain.

Going nowhere in such a hurry.

Like they just discovered pain.

I’ve been looking for a chorus.

That won’t break us into songs.

Maybe something just to bore us.

Take our rights back from the wrongs…

Once you escape.

Create a safe distance.

Enter therapy!

Heal…

And try again.

If fortune shines your way.

You find someone who is kind and loving. 

Only then  will you realize that a younger version of you made that choice.

There’s this feeling that’s just so nearly…

Like the battered and the bruised.

I wonder if I heard clearly.

Deep down, I’m just confused.

There’s a man who’s screaming something.

In the face of that sad clown.

There’s a juggler in the spotlight.

That didn’t use the right pronoun.

The siamese twins grow tired.

Two heads can not agree.

Cooperation is required.

No discernments they can see.

The wives they seem so angry.

The husbands have that look.

Doesn’t much matter which way I go.

Either way, I’m on the hook.

And the men

The problem is not that you lied.

The problem is that I can’t trust you again. 

I held you above the masses.

Now you are just among the herd…

Grazing

Shitting

Complaining

Or whatever it is, your lot does there.

The bitter cold has lifted, the snowflakes melted wet.

The winds are more forgiving, we are huddled with feet set.

On ground as hard as clay now, under sky as white as bone.

We are humbled and forgiven, yet we feel so all alone.

Maybe it’s just the season, it might be something more.

We are waiting on deliverance, in that distance there’s a roar.

The voices they were moving.

On the water and in the air.

In her head was far from soothing.

And your name was everywhere.

She was holding onto sanity.

By a needle and a thread.

Her thoughts? Not worth a mention.

Except some mumbled words were said.

Something  happened somewhere.

Was a child, and then she grew.

Lived in the pain of “that’s not fair.”

Then she set her eyes on you.

In the gravity of her attention.

You were savior on white horse.

For her, not worth a mention.

You just failed… of course. Of course.

All those tears, ‘not worth a mention.’

Because you know she has to cry.

Now that I have your full attention…

You can stay or wave bye-bye.