It is drama in the kitchen.

Exaggeration on the phone.

Silence in the bedroom.

Until we are all alone.

It is drama all this bitchin.

Humiliation… no atone.

Beauty is just skin deep.

And Ugly goes to the bone.

They were meandering in the walkways.

We were all at City Hall.

All were there for different reasons.

Some, really, for no reasons at all.

I was resigned to fate or fortune.

Masquerades as fail/success.

I had bagged all paper signatures.

I prayed and said, “God bless!”

There’s this memory of Fredrick.

Where he wrote that God is dead.

And all the demons there danced with joy.

Mistaking what he said.

I’ve been watching praying listening.

All these decades turned to years.

And I don’t think he’s dead at all.

The plot is in arrears.

She gave me many gifts. Though none were intended as such…

When I thought I could get no higher, she pulled out the rug and removed the mask, and let me see the truth. I have not been the same person since.

How many of us can draw that line and say this is who and what changed me? I wonder if she had a choice? I am beginning to think that this was spiritual beyond her control. However, really, I don’t know.

She removed the kindness from me. I am no longer the gullible and needy sap ready to give at the drop of a hat. I have that great ability for savageness that so few come to embrace, for now I see that weakness for what it is.

To know intimacy with both sides of the same coin. The light and the darkness. What a gift!

I still have the pause button. The ability to walk away. To maintain the ability to fight another day. To not cross that line. I’m afraid if I ever started, I might not be able to stop.

I try to write the truth about personal experience and have been shown at times my own delusions, which are an exceptional experience on their own when I come to terms with my own humanity and all the flaws that lie in this…

Our own experiences are all we really know, and I have been blessed with survival and dare I say sanity? Yes, I dare.

The frothy highs and lows have leveled into something more manageable, and the dramas are never really out of reach. There have been educational moments, and teachers come and go: their words resonate.

I am writing a second novel, which is a fictional work based on truths and experiences, and I no longer ponder outcomes. This is a great gift and a new experience. I am ready.

We’ve been in the battle royal.

Taking chin shots in our stride.

Telling myths so we don’t spoil.

Laughing loud, the truth inside.

It is such a lie, all this beauty.

Of Kings, Whores and Lonely Men.

No more joy. Accounts and duty.

Bite your tongue and count to 10.

Having thoughts lots about dying.

And other things that I don’t know.

Its not the fear that’s got me down.

Just that I don’t want to go.

Now sure I know I have no choice.

Has been made abundant and clear.

This transformation is all the rage.

I just kinda like it here.

I hear all this complaining.

What’s wrong about this and that.

You never really stood a chance.

With an attitude like that.

I recognized my nature.

Not much was steeped in good.

There was this strange sensation.

Like maybe I just should.

Forget it all and start a new.

Take the narrow view to wide.

Take my head out from my ass.

And maybe look outside.

Not all is gain or glory.

Not all is pain and strife.

The road the path the choices made.

It’s a wild ride this life.

Quite often, people say “the tip of the Iceberg.” When they want emphasize that the events are far greater than what meets the eyes.

I generally wonder when I hear this…

“Are you sure?”

Now, I’m saying it out loud because it’s been my personal experience as well as my observational opinion that humans are  prone to extreme exaggerations when trying to convey that their experience is the universal norm.

Let me give examples for this possibility:

1 Alcoholics make up 10% of the population.

2 Psychopaths make up 1%

3 Sociopaths 4%

4 Narcissists 0.5% or 1 in 200.

Not accounting for overlap, of which there certainly is, this loud opinionated motley crew would make no more than 15.5% of the population. Which means that their experiences are vastly different than the rest, about 84.5%.

Now, if and when you supply this very vocal opinionated 1 in 6 minority with the internet ; their opinions really might be only the ‘Tip of the Iceberg’. With the rest of the iceberg right where it should be.

Few are wrapped as tight as Frothy.

No awareness to calm down.

Got stranded on the mainline.

On his way to meet up town.

There were words with the conductor.

Who had clearly had enough.

The Conductor is on the evening news.

He’s been traumatized and stuff.

Transit commission they are hiring.

The trees are forming buds.

And Frothy is in recovery.

Plotting pay back, blowing suds.

I can’t say I’m shocked. I didn’t expect less complaining. However, I did think there might be more gratitude.

I understand human nature for what it is: undeniable selfish.

I was told: ‘You will know a new freedom and a new happiness. You will be amazed before you are halfway through.’

Well, I must be nearing the halfway mark because I am truly amazed.