The bad luck raised suspicions, on a path that was beat down.

No one dared to look within or see the wise men in the town.

It was happening for eons, as long as Grandad could recall.

Like a dark foreboding plank walk or a dream in which you fall.

Until the child spoke her words that, “Maybe somethings wrong with me?”

So we made a meeting with the Doc, down at the Family Psychiatry.

The doctor raised awareness and we all took a look.

Things are looking so good now, might take Grandma off the hook.

Now life is far from perfect however the family’s not so sad.

Looking in the mirror, not blaming blind luck, good or bad.

The 8:15 was crowded and on time. I wasn’t in a hurry because I’m always an hour early. It was the first of my character flaws that she noticed. I was the last to leave the bus at Runnymede station.

A young man was throwing up on the platform. It looked like a bad breakfast. However, I didn’t linger to inspect.

It’s funny what makes you remember someone. For me, it’s just being early. She was late for everything. Like her mother before her and our daughter after.

Our daughter is identifying as a boy now. I suspect that this is because she wants to distance herself from her mother as much as she can. However, I could be wrong about that…

I’ve had this running battle.

Avoiding normal was a fued.

On the farm with hay and cattle.

Not gonna be that dude.

A one way ticket to the town.

Now it’s years since I am here.

With all the crazy going around.

I want normal now I fear.

Rain is rushing down the gutter.

Washing all that’s in the way.

It’s either one thing or the other…

Bad or good, it’s all in play.

Doesn’t matter what you’re thinking.

Which way that wind is gonna blow.

If you’re down there in the gutter.

Only one way up I know.

The Disturbance rose upon us… I stayed still against the force.

Said nothing to be quoted and in time it ran its course.

The Disturbance came upon us, I thought this will never last.

Now the Disturbance is somewhere else in a place we call the past.

Its been awhile, I miss you lots. Lots of things to tell.

A painful truth about your girl, she’s not doing well.

I really tried to ease her pain but I think she likes the way.

I’ve heard it all, can’t take the call. There’s nothing left to say.

It’s just a test, not all is blessed, but that’s not hard to tell.

I now know what you knew then and the sad like rain it fell.

My girl she is the world to me, I tell her what I knew.

No more secrets hide away except the damaged few.

Just a note, I love you Mom, I know you couldn’t stay.

I understand not all is planned… It just feels that way.

She got stranded at the alter of her best friend of the past.

No one knew she had the strength or the will to make it last.

She got stranded in that mindset where time is just a blur.

Where all the rescues came and went and no one looked for her.

So I gathered up some courage and said ‘Boys I’m going in.’

I heard the sound of laughter and a wager for my sin.

She smiled wide and came with me, a new day it did dawn.

She loved her pain and went insane and now all the sun is gone.

The snake it left the garden.

No need to pitch a tent.

With reputations set in stone.

Invitations were not sent.

They’re still looking for a villain.

I can see them look my way.

I see their fear and draw them near.

And we all live another day.

The sleep did come in bunches, with no time for dreams inside.

I was betting on some hunches, on a tip from friends who hide.

They are lurking in the shadows, but I always take their call.

They caution when they’re nervous, they prepare for when they fall.

I’ve been working at the ready, banking what I can.

But the monkey on my back is harsh and not part of any plan.

But at last I feel well rested, I’m not planning something new.

I’ll keep the faith and plan each step and trust in far and few.

My plans were ripe for alter and change was in the air.

Nothing ventured and little gained amidst cries for foul and fair.

I would have left her in the future, but it never got that far.

So far from truly knowing, just who and what we are.

I know I said I loved her but there’s no way that can be true.

I tried so hard to make things work with chances far and few.

And then she got so angry from this well of ancient rage.

Something happened long ago, so I bounced and turned the page.

Excuses are not necessary but they make us feel so good.

Its all about the play of life in this world of could and should.