The darkness arrives with the cold.
Winter reminds us of the death we fear.
Will it linger here forever touching us with her frost and ice? Staying holding swallowing enduring permanence?
If you’re reading this, then probably not today.
The unknown is like that.
Like being born.
Born into fear.
Faith is the bridge.

Dennis Mantin

The wise one told me. “You don’t suffer fools gladly. ”

I responded with, “And your point is?

He laughed and said, ” You suffer in anger.”

I thought of it as sport, a sick form of entertainment, however in time I see his point. 

I am trying. I am trying. Just know that I am trying. 

Dennis Mantin 

The decision choice.That inner voice. Swaying you this way and that.

How do you know? Which way to go?Advice from the dog to cat.

Is it just me? Or maybe Be?                            You’re where you need to be at.

Find 3 people you respect and ask each of them independently what decision they would make given your choices . When all 3 give the same answer then there’s your decision. 

Dennis Mantin 

I grew up in an abnormal environment if one considers being raised by a mother who told me my father was dead when he wasn’t, abnormal. 

To suggest I had emotional issues around trust would be an accurate description of my headspace, however in light of my  experience and an overview of human history , I believe my lack of trust is well founded. 

My daughter doesn’t remember me living with her mother so the spending time in both homes is very comfortable and normal to her.

I couldn’t live with her mother, the reasons irrelevant, however suffice to say I had to protect me. I am however able to be cordial from the safety of seperate homes.

Zylia said, “I miss Mom when I’m with you and I miss you when I’m with Mom.”

Success 

Dennis Mantin 

We live in a time where the poorest of our society have a better lifestyle than the richest of the rich did, 200 years ago. 

Running water, refrigeration in every home. Access to fresh food everywhere. Private bedrooms.

The longest nonfasting period I’ve gone hungry is 5 days. I was in paradise surrounded by wealth and swore never again would I go without. 

I was in my twenties then and it was in Banff Alberta and I saw the first grown man I ever witnessed  bumming money on the streets. I vowed never to do that. 

I know what hungry feels like… However I have never known the horror of, that it might never end… and for that I am blessed. 

Dennis Mantin 

I miss her when she’s not here              She doesn’t like to talk on the phone       I deal well with that because neither do I She has Mom time which is separated from me which is in everyone’s best interests

How someone so special and perfect could be created by 2 people who make such efforts to not be in the same room feels miraculous. 

DENNIS MANTIN 

I heard genuine passion in the voice and words of my daughter today.

“I  loved It Daddy! As soon as it was over I wanted to go to another class.. ”

To find that, to be encouraged, to be supported… I absolutely love being a parent. 

Dennis Mantin 

My head swelled waaaay past it’s normal size that day.

How could I have anything to do with someone so perfect?

I watch her grow and let her be her and show me the errors of my ways. 

For on my best days when things fall just right, I can be so grand!

But the things I am capable of when the shit hits the fan makes me cringe. 

Hungry I will steal. Threatened I will harm. No different from most I suspect.

I loathe the Progress not Perfection motto. It feels delusional. 

Dennis Mantin 

There are 2 types of Amendments, emotional and financial. 

I have found that people who make amends are generous with their, “I’m so story’s, ” however they are not so eager to part with their cash.

There’s a heavy price to pay for this error.

There’s a freedom in the forgiveness of a debt payed in full that words can’t do justice.

Dennis Mantin