I found out on Christmas Eve 2018 that Lorna had passed away in the summer of 2017.

I loved her at a time when I was too immature to deserve her attention. She wanted to “take her space” and I was in my; ‘ It’s my way or nothing alcoholic phase. ‘

I was angry and separated myself from even trying to think of her. I was almost successful.

I loved her sense of freedom and fearlessness and she changed the way I viewed life.

I regret not apologizing to you Lorna for my behavior. You were right; I was wrong. I have always missed you.

Dennis Mantin

The sun rises in the east as it has forever, however here it stays light for 12 hours and an equal amount of darkness day after day which is how it rolls at the equator.

The howler monkeys scream the suns arrival and then the macaws. With daylight comes a break in the silence.

I’ve had enough now. I want to go home and be with the familiar and the short days and cold of winter in Canada.

To work and plan and think back on those fabulous waves in the Pacific.

Dennis Mantin

Francis Drake sailed here from the Pacific side in the 1570’s…

I doubt Roberto’s diner was in business with its fabulous cook or the Jade Mar Inn with her wonderful beds and warm showers.

The Howlers screamed at his arrival to no avail and the macaws would have sounded their alarms but the British were here and the Spanish not far behind…

The world was larger then due to its flatness.

Dennis Mantin

Cutter ants by the tens of thousands march on carrying pieces of leaves in complete silence.

When you first hear a leaf fall through the canopy it is alarming the amount of noise that is made.

Sometimes I just observe…

Sometimes I just yell what’s on my mind.

Dennis Mantin

On that day in 2018…

It’s a very good year.

Full of life and trials and loss.

She made me breakfast today on my birthday.

I made it back to Costa Rica with my daughter and her Mother and that’s an accomplishment since her mother and I don’t live together.

We lost Ron White and Heather Ives and both have hit me in sorrow.

Life is like that…

It’s been 15 years since Clifton died and I didn’t get a chance to tell him that I love him and miss him…

You find the courage to face your fears and keep moving until you can’t.

I came here to write the book. I am.

Buenus Dias Muchouchous…

Dennis Mantin

Photo taken with cellphone…

Dennis Mantin

She said you owe me…

This is normally where I’d shut shit down; but for reasons I don’t know I continued to listen.

” You owe me kindness and gentleness… ”

In the moments that followed I knew she was right and also that I’d not forgiven her.

7 years I’ve been holding onto this and its time to let go.

She followed that up with, ” I don’t know what I did to you. ”

That might be true but why is no longer the issue. I forgive you.

I owe us all kindness and gentleness.

Dennis Mantin

Nardi scrunched his face and breathed deep before he spoke. His demeanor was tired and old, however he was young with much fight left in him. Eighty hours work week’s were beginning to take a toll. He was one of the army of nameless faces in the business they call entertainment.

” By the time they pay us what we’re worth, we aren’t worth what they pay us. ”

Perfect.

Dennis Mantin

My grandfather was 95 when his sight began failing…

I was young and full of fear about dying and going blind. I asked, “Aren’t you afraid of going blind?”

Patrick Mantin smiled and said: “I’ve seen enough.”

It’s taken me a while but I think I understand.

I however don’t feel the same.

Dennis Mantin

Rob shared the following with me more than 20 years ago concerning the long hours we work in the film industry…

“By the time they pay us what we’re worth, we aren’t worth what they pay us.”

Dennis Mantin