Wave after Wave. Churning a fear.
Faith has tests. This I know.
She said, “They had it coming. “
I asked, “They got what they deserved?”
I asked her where she heard that?
Her smile kinda curved.
I said, “You know you’re only 8 years old.”
She said, “You know I’m almost nine.”
Sometimes I need to listen.
So I just took it as a sign.
We meet in the park under old growth trees.
On a park bench we talk and often listen.
Not always; for my mind drifts and I stray to distant shores that house memories of the dead.
No short cuts here, it’s do or die.
Been singing fear and me oh my.
Wringing hands in a sad refrain.
The hard choice here is clear and plain.
It’s insane and I’m afraid.
You need help is what I played.
Under the gun.
Now or never.
Life and death.
This is one way of going through each day. You could even spend every waking moment and breathe like this if you feel the need.
I choose to embrace this fear as a feature on the journey and enjoy the time given.
He counts the change bored out of his mind, counting days, hours, minutes, seconds… all for a paycheck until the sweet escape!
Imagining the hours of study and stress of exams amidst the shouting and expectations of parents to end up here counting the coins of subway travelers on their way to somewhere?
It came gradually.
Nothing planned or a moment when everything changed.
It seemed almost spiritual.
I have memories of the time before however not weighed down from some inescapable self imposed force.
A sort of freedom or escape not unlike a fart in a windstorm.
It was magic.
It was love.
It was all.
I was dreaming of.
Peaked to soon.
I was young.
So many miles.
Left to go.
A daughter grew.
Now I’m old.
Oh so wise.
See it all.
In her eyes 👀
My attention span seems to be lessening. Maybe I’m synchronizing with the rest of the world and their lizard like rapid eyes watching/turning for what moves within their technological grasp.
I am only reading Bukowski 1 chapter at a time now.
The breeze is light and warm here in the shady side of life.