After the perfect time…

When she is still sleeping and I am energized with time to write in the darkened quiet; and after I have gotten all the attention and love, I could possibly stand, without pain or worry, or fears of death, for I am pleased with how it has all turned out and now I can give a recap.

In Act 1, they generally left me to my own devices without the tiresome old tried and true teachings of the elders; like some kind of social experiment meant for future reflection on what will happen if we let him stew in confusion and chaos? “Maybe he will become one of those artist types.” I knew it was a lie; that I wasn’t,”jerked on a stump and hatched in the sun.”

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I found the magic transformative elixir and went somewhere else when I was 15…

During Act 2, I spent maybe too much time with the elixir. However, the thought occurred to me that the very thing that I felt was saving my life, might be killing me. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I stopped. I was 45.

Act 3- Sobriety is a trip. I sought wise counsel and advice and learned to listen. The voices in my head went quiet. I tried to have a healthy relationship. I worked hard. I prayed to God for guidance and developed faith… I became a father. My greatest teacher became my child because watching her grow, I began to understand my own life and childhood. I gave up on having a healthy relationship and began to understand the phrase: ‘If you want to hear God laugh, just make plans.’

I am 20 + years sober and 66 years old. I am in a relationship with a younger woman who makes me feel so very much alive. I am blessed to have been allowed to experience so much life.

I don’t know what the future brings. However, I will attempt to accept it with a glad and open heart.

To those of you that I pissed-off along the way; please try to get over it. I was just trying to survive.

She is awake now, and so am I…

Dennis Mantin