She gave me many gifts. Though none were intended as such…

When I thought I could get no higher, she pulled out the rug and removed the mask, and let me see the truth. I have not been the same person since. How many of us can draw that line and say this is who and what changed me?

I wonder if she had a choice? I am beginning to think that this was beyond her control. However, really, I don’t know.

She removed the kindness from me. I am no longer the gullible and needy sap ready to give at the drop of a hat. I have that great ability for savageness that so few come to embrace, for now I see that weakness for what it is.

To know intimacy with both sides of the same coin. The light and the darkness. What a gift!

I still have the pause button. The ability to walk away. To maintain the ability to fight another day. To not cross that line. I’m afraid if I ever started, I might not be able to stop.