My father is not a nice person. He stays silent… However, I hear him when he mumbles his disdain for anyone near and far. I know he hates me. I think he hates Mom. In fact, I think he hates everyone and everything. Everywhere. So I don’t take it personally.

My mother isn’t going to take this much more. She has a side of herself that he has never seen. However, it’s coming. I saw it last night. Her rage today is on full display! She got right in my face. “If I pack up and leave, do you want to come with? Staying with that useless sonofabitch is also an option.”

I nodded.

“Good… then it’s settled.”

They think I can’t understand them because I haven’t begun to talk yet. However, I have been making mental notes and the shit they say; I mean zero filters…

I walked down a long shadowed corridor last night and saw Danny. He came out of the blue mist like always. He was with Mom and Dad. This was long ago, and they were all smiling. This was before my beginning, when Dad wasn’t sad. I asked Danny what happened to him, but he just shrugs like he doesn’t know. He asked me to come play with him, and then he disappeared on a swing. That’s always what happens. He starts swinging on the swing and then fades into a green smokey misty void…

Mom comes and picks me up when she hears me screaming, which happens every time Danny disappears. I’m afraid to leave here because maybe it’s only here that Danny can find me. I’m afraid I’ll forget him.

If I ever get out of this crib; heads are gonna roll!

Dennis Mantin