My only other experience with this phenomena happened when I met my future mother in law for the first time and upon hearing that my mother was dead, she caressed my hands in hers and smiled sweetly, “You can call me Mom.”
I replied something like thanks but no thanks, I love my mother very much despite the fact she’s dead and I would feel uncomfortable saying that. She insisted. I said no. Later she insisted again. When I went to her daughter and said, “I’m feeling a little uncomfortable with your mother wanting to call me Mom.” She replied, “That’s funny as she says you’re the one insisting that she call you Mom.”
The similarities in both is that both felt a rejection or ridicule and therefore might have felt shame upon reflection on their actions or realized their ideas were fucked up and couldn’t deal with it?? I don’t know… I just find human reactions fascinating!